Struggle
by Edward Cullen Luver
Summary: What happens if the reason Bella moves to Forks was because she was seeking treatment to her disease at Forks hospital? She doesn't have much time, and she wants to finish her list with the help of the Cullen's. [More Detailed Summery On Profile!] [BxE]
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Twilight or New Moon

Stephen Meyer does

Please read and Review :D

This story takes place instead of Twilight. So nothing has happened with Bella and Edward yet. They do not even know each other, but do not fret. This is an EdwardXBella story.

It was an idea that just came to me, so please….review. I would like constructive criticism, but no flames. I do not need my already bruised ego busted. Thanks.

* * *

As I exited the plane I saw Charlie waiting with a worried smile. It seemed that everyone was always worried about me ever since the diagnosis, but I pretended not to notice his worried face or any of the others. That would lead to long conversations I was not ready for. More than likely he was not intending on looking anxious it just kind of happened to the parents of kids who where sickly. They were always fretful.

"Hey Bells," Charlie greeted me with a small smile, "I am so glad your here." I simply smiled, and agreed. I did not like to talk much. Not anymore more anyway. I guess I'm still sad about the whole thing. The doctors only gave me fifty, fifty chance of survival, and that is with the 'vigorous' treatment. As bad as it sounds I decided that I would do the 'vigorous' treatment as recommended anyway. If I am going to die, I want to die a fighter. And it just so happens that the hospital in Forks was one of the top recommended for my treatment.

I doubt that if the statistics were not on my side I would have been able to move here. I seen no reason to stay with Renee. She had Phil now, and my life would drag them down. She deserves to be happy. At least with Charlie I would be able to get my self back and forth from treatments without a problem. Meaning I would not be interfering with his life too much. I certainly did not want that to happen. I wanted both of my parents to be happy, and dealing with their sickly child would not do that.

The good thing about my dad is he does not like to try and fill the quiet moments with conversation. He likes them, almost as much as I do. So the ride to his home was a sweet serenity. That was until he spoke…

"Bella, I know that you planned on buying a car to get you around." I knew that he meant to get me back and fourth from treatments, but I was thankful he did not say it directly.

"Yes," I agreed with him, "I will get a job."

"Well see Bella, I already found you a nice ride," he informed me as we turned into Forks, "a classic."

"How much is it going to cost me?"

"Well I kind of already bought it for you," he nearly whispered.

"Oh Charlie," I whined, "you did not have to go and do that. I was going to earn it." Just then we turned down the street I knew I could never forget. The street he lived on. And there parked in front of his home was a big, red, rusted, amazing TRUCK! "I love it," I whispered softly to my dad as he turned off his cruiser.

"Well I thought it would be a nice welcome home gift," he stated with a shy smile.

I nodded my thanks, and went to inspect the truck. I knew that it would be a loud, gas guzzler, but I didn't care. It was mine, and I loved it.

After awhile of looking around, the night chill set in and Charlie insisted I get inside. With my weakened immune system the last thing I needed was a cold.

"Coming," I whispered unwillingly.

Once inside I made my way slowly to my room. What I found made me smile. It was the exact same as the last time except a second rate computer with dial up connection that sat upon my old wooden desk. That was one of the few things that were a must have when I told Renee I was moving here. Other than that it was the same. My small bed in the right hand corner, and rocking chair in the opposite right hand corner. I loved it.

"I just got the computer hooked up before I went to pick you up. Darn thing was so complicated," Charlie stated from my door way. I was unaware of his presence so I jumped in shock, and by so doing tripped on my shoe laces causing my head to crash into the edge of the rocking chair. "Bella," was the last thing I heard before my world went dark.

When I woke up I heard a rhythmic beeping sound in the background. I knew that I was in the hospital, and I silently cursed my dad. I knew that he put me in here. As I sat up, and looked around the room a bit I saw that I was in a room of my own, and I was hooked up to several machines. I also saw needles sticking out of my hands. That sight made me gasp, and cringe.

"Good morning Miss. Sawn," came a cool velvety voice from my right. I turned to see a man who looked as if he just stepped off a runway. With slightly curly blond hair, and pale skin. There was no way he was older than 26.

I am guessing I was silent, because he smiled humorously. "I will take that silence as a good morning."

"Oh, sorry…you scared me. I did not know anyone was in here," I stated with a small blush.

"Well I am truly sorry that I frightened you. I just wanted to make sure your vitals were strong, which they are."

"Oh that's good," I said softly, as I looked down.

"We decided to get you settled with your doctor now, and schedule for treatment. You know, while you are here." As soon as he said those words I moaned, which I am betting he took that as a sign of pain, because he asked me. "Are you okay?" I just nodded, giving up on the whole speaking thing.

"Well for starters I will be your primary doctor though out treatment." Then he took out a small sheet of folded paper, and laid it on my bed, near my hand. As I opened it I saw it was schedule for treatments. I had one every other day from four to five.

"What about school," I asked a bit softly.

"Well you should be able to attend, at least for the time being," He said with a frown. I am guessing he knew what question was coming next, because he situated himself a bit more in the chair.

"How long?"

"I say you can finish out the school year before you get too exhausted to continue."

I nodded, that was the answer I had been expecting. "Do you think going through with the treatment is going to actually help?"

"Not really," he whispered. I think he knew that I wanted the truth, even if it was hard. "I'm sorry," he added sounding genially sorry. I sort of hated it when doctors would feel sorry for you, and they don't even know you.

"Don't be," I said softly, as I turned to look him in the eyes, which were the most amazing color. Topaz. "I am glad you don't sugar coat anything." He nodded, but still looked sad. I knew that I should drop the topic, but continued on anyway. I wanted him to know. "I'm not going to take it then," I stated strongly, as I handed the sheet back to him. He looked up at me with wide eyes.

"With out the treatment you may not live the rest of the year, you do realize that." It was a statement not a question so I simply nodded.

"I thought that if I was going to die I wanted to go down fighting, but now I am thinking differently. If I am going to die I want to have as much strength as I can muster. And you and I both know that they will weaken me."

"That is true, but maybe we can do an alternative treatment. Meant to prolog your life. It has positive---" I cut him off with a shake of my head.

"No thanks Dr…."

"Cullen."

"No thanks; Dr. Cullen."

"I understand, and respect your decision, but I still insist on regular check ups. Okay?" He added.

"Deal." What could I lose?


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Twilight or New Moon

Stephen Meyer does

Please read and Review :D

Remember that this story take place instead of Twilight, so things are different.

* * *

I woke up to the loud beeping of my alarm clock, 'Great,' I though, 'First day of Forks high school.' As I looked around my room I saw that the sun had already risen, but it hid behind the clouds. That's Forks for you.

Slowly I walked to my closet t retrieve my clothes for the day. I picked a pair of black jeans, with a small flare, and they were accompanied by my favorite pair of high top chucks. Then I found a plain white shirt, that was slightly form fitting, but you would not see it, because I would put on my only windbreaker to help ward off the rain, and hide my now bruised wrists. Once my outfit was picked out I grabbed it, and my bag of bathroom necessities, and went to the restroom.

As I stepped into the hot awaiting shower I shivered as it cascaded down my back. After just a few seconds of allowing the water to loosen my muscles I ran my fingers through my hair with my favorite strawberry shampoo, and some conditioner. Once I finished scrubbing my hair I went to scrubbing my body. It felt so nice to feel so clean. Once I was sure that I was clean I stepped out of the shower, and wrapped the towel around me to dry off.

Afterward, I got dressed in my already picked out outfit, and brushed my hair which I let hang down today, as it dried it would curl. I knew that I did not look amazing for my first day, but I never really tried to much with my looks that much anyway. It was not like I was trying to impress anyone.

"Bella, honey, I'm leaving," Charlie hollered up the satires, "have a great first day!"

I sighed, and walked down the satires with my back pack thrown over my shoulder. I wanted to say bye to my dad personally.

"Hey dad," I greeted him with a small smile.

"Oh," he sounded surprised, "heading out?"

"Yeah, I want to get there early." He simply nodded, and handed me a granola bar, and a bottle of water. "Have a good day."

"You too."

Stepping up to my monster truck proved to be quite a challenge, but I managed. And once inside I took a moment to get situated. I did not know exactly where the school was but I was pretty confident that I could find it with the instructions Charlie gave me last night.

I was right. I pulled into the school and saw only a few cars in the student parking lot, but I parked as far from the school as I could, not wanting to draw attention to myself. Once I was parked I made my way to the front office.

"Hello," I whispered to the slightly plump women who was reading, what looked like, a romance novel.

"Oh, hello there, and good morning," she greeted me with a small smile.

"Hi, um…I'm new, and I need to get my schedule. My name is Isabella Swan."

"Oh Isabella," she nearly shouted, "we were expecting you on Monday morning. We thought that Charlie made it up that his daughter was coming to live with him."

I sighed slightly, and shifted my feet. I was glad that Charlie did not spread my diagnosis around town, but unhappy that he told everyone I was coming. He knew how much hated the attention to be on me.

"Oh well, umm, I ran into some issues, but everything is fine now."

She seemed pleased with that answer, and simply retrieved my schedule card, and a form I was supposed to get all of my teachers to sign. I gave her my thanks and set off to find my first class. Which would not be hard, due to the fact this school was about the tenth the size of my old school.

Just then the bell rang, and the hall ways that were teeming with students went empty in a matter of a few seconds, leaving me all alone. I found my way to my first class, and stepped into it. All tiny conversations stopped, and everyone looked at me, not what I liked. I hated the attention on me, and by their hard glares I soon blushed to the color of a cherry.

"Hello, can I help you," asked the man I can only assume was the teacher.

"Yes, I am Bella Swan. I'm new here."

"Oh yes, welcome, welcome."

"Thanks," I mumbled as he ushered me to a seat in the back next to a beautiful girl, with short black hair.

"This is Alice Cullen, she will be your partner for this class. If that is okay with you Alice," the teacher asked.

"Sure," she replied with a soft melodic voice. Then it hit me, her last name was Cullen.

Once the teacher stepped back to the front of the class, and everyone begrudgingly turned to face him, I laid my head on my desk. It seems I forgot to take my meds this morning, and that was not a good thing.

I remained that was all through class. My head down, and whimpering whenever a pain rippled through me. I would swear that the noise was so small no one could hear it, but every time I made a noise I would feel Alice look at me. Finally the bell rang, and I pulled myself up from my seat, but as I headed to the door. Then I felt a soft, yet firm grip on my arm. I turned to face Alice.

"Are you okay," she asked, "you seemed like you were in pain today."

"Oh--" I paused for a moment, "I'm fine…"

She nodded, and let go of my arm. I could still see doubt in her eyes, but I pretended not to see it. Hopefully Carlisle would keep my secret from his family.

The day continued like that, and none of the teachers minded that I laid my head down on the desks for class. I guess being the new girl got me a buffer. But I was getting a little irritated when a girl, whose name I think is Jessica, continued to talk to me all class. And a guy, I believe was Mike or Matt, kept flirting with me. But finally I made it to lunch. Normally this would be a nerve wracking experience. I hated to sit alone, but I was offered to sit at the table with Jessica and her friends. Oh well, I guess that beggars cant not be choosers so I kindly accepted her offer.

While going through the lunch line I saw the girl, Alice Cullen make her way to a corner table. Where there were four other people. All of whom looked gorgeous just like her, and her father. With pale skin, and topaz eyes, and purplish circles under there eyes. I was so curious how they were all children to Carlisle, he didn't looks a day over thirty.

"Hey Jessica," I asked as we sat down at her table, "What is the story of the Cullen's?"

"What," she asked, sounding a bit shocked.

I looked over at them, and saw that one of them with copper color hair was looking at me. So I quickly looked away, and clarified.

"I met Carlisle Cullen at the hospital, and he looks so young. How are all of those kids his?"

She nearly choked on her pizza while I just spun my water bottle.

"Oh well…umm lets see how to explain _them_. Alice, Edward, and Emmett are related. Rosalie and Jasper are also brother and sister. They were adopted by Carlisle and his wife Esme."

"Oh."

At that moment I realized that I had opened a can of worms. She was a gossip guppy!

"Don't get any ideas! None of the Cullen's date. Well for starters Alice, and Jasper are together, together, as well as Emmett and Rosalie," her finger lingered in their direction as she pointed them out,"" but Edward will simply not date at all."

She seemed to have pouted the last part. My guess is she would know that he would not date, because she had tried. I laughed a bit at that on the inside, _and _cringed as a new pain swept over me.

"I don't think it's nice of you to be so hateful towards him. He may not be interested in senseless teenage drama," I said through gritted teeth, referring to Edward.

Jessica was to into the gossip puddle to care that I was in pan, not that she would notice it. No one really noticed it much anymore. I hid it well.

"No he just thinks that no girl is good enough for him."

I was starting to get feed up with her, and I was in too much pain to care any more.

"Please stop," I panted, "it's not nice to say things like that…" I slid from the seat, and I could feel all eyes on me, but I didn't care. I had to get out of here for right now. As I walked out I looked over at the Cullen's table and they were all looking at me too. The boy named Edward was the face I saw more clearly. In his eyes I saw a few things. Aggravation, and thankfulness? I wasn't sure, but I found it was really hard to look away from him as I exited the lunch room.

Once I was out of sight from everyone I made it to the bathroom, and had a conversation with the toilet. I knew that I had not eaten much, and that plus not taking my pills made me feel terrible, but I wanted to stick out the rest of the day.

By the time I had cleaned up and made it to my biology class I was late.

"About time you joined us," my teacher addressed me, "I was about to mark you absent, but seeing as how it's your first day I will let it slide. Now go take a seat," he barked a bi harshly. Times like that made me wish I could play the sick girl card….

I nodded and looked around the room. The only seat left was next to, none other than, Edward Cullen. I saw him tense as I sat down, and scoot away. In that moment I felt my face redden. Carlisle had told his family about me, and now his son did not even want t be near me. Like he could catch it by sitting next to me. I felt my eyes slightly water as he did that. That whole class he scooted away from me, and acted like I was a mutant, and that whole class I was fighting tears from pain mentally, and physically.

When class was over before I could blink Edward was gone. It made me cringe. I never met to hurt him…I did not want him to be scared of me. But I simply shook my head and made my way to the front office.

When I got there I saw the familiar beauty of Edward quietly arguing with the lady in the office about switching out of his biology class. Our biology class. Was I that much of a bother. Was I that disgusting? I fought to hide my tears as I stepped up to next to him, and softly laid the paper, that was signed by all of my teachers, on the counter.

"Here you go, thanks," I whispered to the lady before stepping back, and leavening. I felt Edwards eyes on my back as I left, but I didn't care. I wanted out.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Twilight or New Moon

Stephen Meyer does

Please read and Review :D

Also a bunch of people were asking about Edward, and the Cullen's. Alice does not know that Bella is sick. none of the Cullen's do. Does that make sense? Also on the first day in bio, because Edward did not know she was sick he saw staying away because of her scent, like in Twilight. Does that make sense? If not email me, and I will explain it better. I am so sorry if it was confusing.

* * *

That night I stayed in my room. I felt sick, weak, and to top it all off I was a freak to a guy that I didn't even know. Soon I was pulled from my whelp of self pity when the phone rang. Charlie was home so I allowed him to answer it. Not that it did any good, because after answering it he hollered for me.

"Bella, the phone is for you."

I sat up, and wiped my eyes. I did not want him to think that I was crying. It would lead to questions. I am beginning to hate questions. Once I felt composed enough I went downstairs, and tripped on the last one. Causing me to go down to the ground. When Charlie heard the crash he rushed in from the living room, looking….worried.

"Bella, are you okay," he asked sounding anxious.

"I'm fine dad," I responded, "just tripped."

He seemed like he wanted to press it more, but I quickly got up, and went to the phone. To avoid any more conversation with him.

"Hello," I addressed the person, and as I did so I saw Charlie leave the kitchen out of the corner of my eye. Good.

"Bella?" Came a voice that sounded familiar.

"Yes, who is this," I asked, trying not to sound mean.

"Dr. Cullen."

"Oh, sorry sir, I did not recognize your voice." Instantly my face reddened. How could I forget that voice?

"That's quite aright. I was just calling to see how your first day of school went? I want to be sure that you are not already getting under to much stress."

"Oh," I sighed, "It was fine…" I trailed off not wanting to tell him I forgot to take my meds.

"Really," I could hear the skepticism, and could tell he was not going to let it drop. I was going to have to tell him.

"Well…I was in a slight rush this morning, and I forgot to take my medication…so I wasn't feeling so great today."

I heard him sigh on his end. "What else?"

"I vomited," I admitted, "but only once."

"Bella please be more careful. You could have easily passed out from that."

"Yes, I know," I said, feeling guilty.

"Well, okay. I am also calling to tell you your first check up is tomorrow. I will make it at six o'clock That way you can get home, and relax a bit before hand?" That secretly made me wince at the thought of what I would needing to be resting for..

"Umm, do I really need to come?"

"Yes."

I sighed, and then remembered something. "Dr. Cullen?"

"Yes?"

"Did you tell your family about me," I asked the question with such a low voice that I am not sure he even heard it.

"Most certainly not. Doctor - patient confidentiality."

"Oh, okay.."

"May I ask as to why you wondered?"

"Well I…never mind. It was nothing. I will see you tomorrow at six."

"Six," he agreed.

With that we hung up, and I walked to the living room. As I slumped onto the couch Charlie turned to face me.

"What Mr. Cullen want," Charlie asked.

"I have an appointment tomorrow," I whispered.

"Oh," I knew that he did not feel comfortable talking about it, so I excused myself for the night, and went up to bed.

As I laid there I allowed myself a little self pity. I did that every night. Some nights were easier than others. Some were harder. Tonight was a harder night. All the stress laid on me was thick. I had a boy that hated me for some unknown reason. He did not even know I was sick…so what reason did he have to hate me? Then on top of that the realization that I was going to die set in. I knew all along it was an option, but now it was the only option. There was no if, an's, or but's.

I did not want to die. There was so much I wanted to do before I want to heaven, or where ever it is I will go. So I began making a mental list of things I wanted to do before I died. And as the minutes past my list grew, and I took out a pen and a small journal, that was still empty. I was going to write them down.

_List of things I want to do…_

_1. Write a letter to Renee, and to Charlie. Telling them how much I loved them. So they could read it when I am gone. _

_2. Read 'The Completed works of Jane Austen' ._

_3. Do something dangerous._

_4. Drive to the beach…just because._

_5. Go explore a new area. _

_6. Befriend someone I may not like._

_7. Visit college…just to see it_

_8. Go to Europe_

_9. Visit the pyramids. _

_10. Go swimming in a lake, alone._

_11. Get a new style._

_12. Ask, "what if"_

_13 Witness true love. _

By the time I was done, I was in tears. I knew that half of the things I listed were silly things, but they were things I never did. Things I may not ever get to do. But maybe I could change that. Maybe I could do it all before I die. If I do one a week….

"Thirteen weeks," I whispered to myself. "That's a lot of time…."

**XOxoXOxoXOxoXO**

As I allowed my chocolate orbs to open I saw that it was only five am, but there was no hope for more sleep. The pain was too bad, so I sat up, and looked around my room. What was strange was my window was open, and my curtain was billowing in a soft breeze that was drifting in.

"That's strange," I whispered, "did I even open that window?"

I shook that feeling off, and shuffled to the window slowly, and pulled it shut. Once that was done I looked back at my clock, and saw that only a minute had passed, and I still could not take my meds for another two hours. That thought made me cower. It was hurting so bad.

With out a second thought I had grabbed a towel, and an outfit for school and went to the bathroom. I ran the tub full with steamy hot water. I thought maybe the heat could help ease the pain, and I was right.

The moment my body slid into the molten water I relaxed a bit. It felt so good. The heat drifted up in a small steam, and slowly my eye lids closed, and my breathing became even.

"Bella," I heard distantly, followed by harsh knocking, "are you okay?"

I peeled my eye lids back, and saw I was laying in the bathtub.

"Oups."

"Bella," Charlie hollered again, sounding frantic.

"Uh, I'm fine dad," I responded. Trying with all my might to hide the exhaustion from my speech. "I'll be out in a minute."

I heard him sigh softly, and shuffle away.

Almost immediately I got up from the bathtub looking a nasty shade of blue, and chattering.

"Great job Bella," I cursed my self, "now you are going to get a cold…"

After about a five minute touch up with getting dressed, brushing teeth, brushing my matted hair, and warming up I ran down stairs with my book bag and keys.

"Sorry dad," I muttered as I walked past on my way to the door, "wont happen again."

He said nothing about my incident, but reminded me to take my meds. That he had already put together in a cup, with a bottle of water. I blushed at the sight. He really cared.

"Thanks…." I didn't know what else to say to that kind gesture, so I walked over and kissed his scruffy cheek. "Means a lot dad," I whispered.

I grabbed the pills, and swallowed them quickly. I wanted to get out before he felt that he had to repay my gesture. I would cry, and that is not what I wanted to happen. I would turn into a soppy mess, and he wouldn't have any idea what to do. He was a great dad, but he did not get much practice with me. I was taken away as a child. Although I visited a lot.

I remember when I was younger he used to take me out to the reservation, and I would play with two girls, whose names I could not remember to save my life. I can only distantly recall our summer sleepovers. I do remember they were just for Charlie to get a break from me so he could go fishing. After about three or four summers here in this boring town I came to the conclusion that I did not want to waste any more time here. So we began meeting for two weeks in California during the summer.

As I pulled my mind out of memory lane I realized that I had already arrived at school, and a hard downpour had began.

"Great…," I muttered to herself as I stepped out of my truck. Gripping my windbreaker, and book bag I ran for cover the cover of school.

Even with the distance from my truck to the school only being about thirty feet I was drenched. The bottom of my jeans, like dry sponges, soaked up the water to my knees. Then the water began dripping from my jacket to my shirt collar, and onto my skin. The combination of the cold water, and the chilly temperature of fifty five made me shiver, and my teeth chatter.

I quickly shook off as much water as I could and headed to first hour. Seeking the warmth from the over heated room. When I got there I saw about eight kids from am class, all waiting outside the door. From the looks of their faces the teacher was late, and they were also seeking the warmth of his room.

"Wonderful," I thought to herself as I slumped to the floor against the wall. Drawing my knees to my chest to keep me warm, and ease my shivers. Pulling into my shell, and thinking hot thoughts.

"Are you okay," a voice fluttered to my ears. It sounded so sweet, and musical. Instantly I knew it was Alice. Without even looking up I just nodded. I did not feel like looking into her eyes, or answering questions. What good would it do, but unfortunately that answer was not proving to be enough for the extremely persistent Alice. "Here take my coat," she offered handing me down a dark blue zip up hoodie. I finally looked up, and shook my head softly. Hoping that she would just walk away.

"N-no thanks. I'm ---"

"Sorry I'm late class. Traffic into town was a bust," came the deep voice of our teacher.

I silently thanked the man for his prompt arrival and scurried up wards into the class. Not tripping once. A good thing!

Other than my mild freeze attack everything was normal that day. No pains, nothing. I actually felt pretty confident as I entered the lunch room, and thankfully Jessica was not hurt or anything by what I had said the day before so I had a place to sit.

"Bella aren't you going to eat," Jessica asked worriedly.

"No. I'm not hungry. I had a big breakfast," I lied. The truth was that one of my medications made me lose my appetite, and I was supposed to eat 2500 calories a day to sustain it, but I am lucky to get 1500 in a day. I would defiantly not tell Dr. Cullen, he would surly be angry with me.

"Oh, okay," Jessica sighed. More than likely thinking that I was an up and coming anorexic. "Great," I thought to myself.

As we sat down at the slow populating lunch table I allowed a quick look over at the Cullen's table, only to be mortified to see Edward, the auburn haired one, staring me down with a fierce stare. His liquid topaz eye clear from across the room. I quickly turned away from him, and looked down at the table, blushing as I wished that I could just disappear.

"Bella, Edward is looking at you," Jessica informed me. Sounding a bit excited and angry at the same time.

"No," I denied her, "he is looking in this general direction."

"Umm, no. He is defiantly looking at you."

I could just felt my face redden, and hands begin to shake. Jessica had just sent my last bit of microscopic hope through the paper shredder.

"Does he look mad," I asked softly. Trying to hide the hurt from my voice.

"No," the curly haired Jessica answered, "he looks more agitated."

"Wonderful," I moaned.

"Why do you suppose he is acting that way?"

I looked up at Jessica, and shrugged a bit. "I don't know. He acted that way all through bio yesterday. I guess he just doesn't like me…"

"None sense. He doesn't like anybody."

I sighed a bit frustrated. "Why do you have to say that?"

"Well it's true. None of the Cullen's like anybody."

"That's not true. The one named Alice is quite friendly, and haven't you ever heard the quote by Anne Frank, 'In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.' "

"How do you know," she asked, sounding suspiciously. Completely ignoring my Anne frank reference.

"She is my partner in first block…."

"Okay Bella, but I don't why you have to go defending them. They have spread nasty rumors about _you_," as soon as the words left her lips she covered her mouth with her hand, and her eyes widened.

I looked up slowly, and tried to hide my horrified expression.

"L-like what?" Jessica shook her head, and held her hand over her mouth. "Jessica, just tell me," I begged of her softly.

"Well, Angela told me that one of the Cullen's told her you have some sort of…disease."

Once again I could felt my face redden more, and eye beginning to water. I fought, and hold in my tears.

"They wouldn't start a rumor about me," I stated. More to convince my self than Jessica. "They do not even know me. Why do they have to hate me?"

"Oh, don't worry. They hate everyone."

I simply couldn't help it anymore. I lifter my face to look at the corner table. In, what I thought, was a swift perusal glance. Except all of the Cullen's were looking at me. With sad expressions? Almost as if they could have heard every word, but I know that is impossible. They were half way across the room. Which means they look guilty, because they are. They know, and Carlisle lied.

As the lunch room began to file out I knew that I could not face bio with _him _sitting next to me, so I trekked in the opposite direction to the front office where the plump, romance novel reading, lady sat. As I opened the door a soft breeze blew in scattering the papers on her desk. I felt bad, and she got irritated.

"What can I help you with," she asked though gritted teeth.

"Um, I need to go home. I am not feeling to well."

She simply shook her head and waved me away. "Fine Bella, go on, go on."

I thanked the lady, and left the front office. Walked to my truck was hard in the down pour, and rain, but I got there. As I climbed into it I clutched my sides, and worked steadying my breathing.

Why did Dr. Cullen lie last night? Why did he tell his family? No matter what teenagers _gossiped_, and now I was the bud of a cruel joke. Just what I needed on my second day in school. To be a freak.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Twilight or New Moon

Stephen Meyer does

Please read and Review :D

I hope that this ties up some loose ends. If not, please feel free to email me. I check it often. I also hope that you all like this story. If not, please tell me. I want to make it better, and if you have ideas that I can use I would be open minded. Keep that in mind.

Thanks---- Dark Angel

* * *

Charlie came home just before five thirty, which made me feel a little better. I wanted to see someone I knew before I left to go to my first appointment here at Forks. He threw his boots off at the door, and placed his jacket on the wall hook. As he headed into the living room to wind down he saw me standing with my keys in hand. 

"Bella where are you off to," he asked sounding suspicious.

"I have an appointment with Dr. Cullen," I whispered as I stared at the ground.

"Oh," he said awkwardly.

I put on my best face, and shrugged. "I should be back by eight. Maybe later."

"Okay."

I waved bye, and walked onto the porch where I was met by the overwhelming smell of damp earth, and the sound of rain drops hitting the tin roof of the porch.It was musical sounding, and had it been any other time I would hate the rain, hate the greenness of everything, hate the dark over cast that loomed overhead. But, I don't know, being sick makes you accept things a little easier than you would have normally. You begin to see the beauty in things.

I gripped my jacket, and took off for my truck which I found, to my disdain to be locked. I slid the key into the door, and unlocked it as fast as I could. Still, by the time I got into the truck I was soaked. So I hurriedly turned the truck on, and the heat. I sat there for a moment to warm up a bit. I did not want to show up at my first check up cold and wet, and I still had about thirty minutes before I even had to there. I was in no rush.

With the drive to the hospital only about ten minutes away I arrived with time to spare. Feeling proud of myself I looked around the office of Carlisle Cullen. It was a nice office too. Small, but a cozy kind of small, not claustrophobic small. With a wooden desk in the middle, and three chairs. On both sides of the diminutive room were book cases. Both lined with many volumes of books that I was just longing to read.

I struggled with the urge to go over and examine his collection. Instead I watched the clock on Dr. Cullen's desk tick softly as the seconds moved by. It seemed like I was there an eternity. Then I noticed that he was thirty minutes late. I wasn't worried. It is not like I am his only patient.

"Just a little peak," I reassured myself as I stood up, and walked over to his bookcase. It was lined from side to side, and top to bottom with books. Many of them looked like medical books, and some even historical. All were leather bound, and looked like they would be worth a pretty penny. "Wow."

"Yes, it is quite and extensive collection," came a cool, enthralling voice from behind.

I turned to be faced by none other than Edward Cullen. I didn't know what to do. His deep butterscotch eyes were burning into mine momentarily immobilizing me, but once I regained control of my self I turned my back to him, and continued to look at the books.

"I understand that you may think nasty stuff about my family and I, but if I could just----"

I turned to look at him, my eyes brimming with tears, and my small frame shaking.

"I have nothing bad to say, or think about your family," I whispered as I closed my eyes. I felt a cold hand touch my shoulder causing me to flinch back. "Don't touch me please. It's bad enough that you had to tell-----never mind."

"Bella…we did not tell anyone."

I refused to hear him speak anymore, so I pushed past him. "Please tell Dr. Cullen to call with a make up date. I have to go, good bye."

"There will be no need for a makeup date. I am here," Dr. Cullen said as he gracefully stepped into the room. After one quick look around he frowned. "Bella where is your father?"

I looked down, and whispered my reply. "He is not really comfortable with this whole thing. I am here alone." I could feel both pairs of eyes staring at me but I said no more. Finally Carlisle broke the swiftly developing quiet.

"Edward can you please leave us alone," he asked kindly of his son. Who simply nodded, and with a quick apologetic look to me left the room.

"Bella I feel the need to apologize. I left your record open on my desk, and my children came upon it. They know, but I can assure you that they will not speak a word of it to anyone else." His voice sounded sad, and pained, but more than anything truthful. I looked up to meet his eyes, and sighed.

"Somehow it has already leaked into school, but people believe that it's just a nasty rumor…"

"Really," Dr. Cullen asked. Sounding not only angry, but confused.

"Yes sir."

He sighed, and nodded. "I am terribly sorry Bella. I know how much you wanted this to be a secret."

"It's fine…"

Thankfully he took that moment to change the topic. I wasn't sure if I could stand to discuss it farther. It was too embarrassing, and hard. I often felt ashamed that I was sick. That I was hurting my mom, and Charlie. That I was the one who needed to be taken care of. That is why I do not want people to know I am sick. They would act different around me. No matter what. I can not handle that.

"I would have loved it if Charlie had been with you today. We have several tests to run, and it is always wonderful to have company. As I understand some are quite painful." I shrugged as my response, and he continued. "We can reschedule. So that he can be with you next time."

"No," I said as I slowly shook my head, "I don't want to drag him into this. He doesn't handle the whole hospital thing well."

Unwillingly Dr. Cullen agreed, and led me to the back. Even though I was not taking the treatment the tests that they had to run on me to see how everything was going were almost unbearable. Thankfully Dr. Cullen was there to talk to me through all of it. His voice would break through to me, even as I screamed, and cried in agony. I don't know how I was comforted by his voice so much, but I was. It helped me. By the time the hours of testing were done I was exhausted, and wanted to go home. Thankfully I had no school so I could rest till late on Saturday morning.

I came out of the back dressed back into my normal clothes, and found Dr. Carlisle Cullen waiting for me with a piece of paper, and a reassuring smile.

"You did wonderful Bella. You are a strong women," I blushed at the comment. "Here is the dates for your next few appointments." At the thought of doing anything as painful as today ran though me I visibly winced. "Don't worry. This will be the last full run through for a while. The next one to be quite as extensive will not be for a few months." I could tell that he had a double meaning behind his words. And that was he was comforting me with the fact that today was the worst I needed to face, because I would be gone by the due date of the next one.

I thanked him, as he escorted me to the door. "Who will be driving you home Bella?"

"I'll be driving myself." He frowned at that and shook his head. "What's wrong?"

"You should not drive currently. You need a good nights rest beforehand."

"I'll drive her." Edward offered as he came up from behind us. I jumped at his sudden entrance, and nearly feel, but thanks to the strong arms of Dr. Cullen I was saved.

"That is a wonderful idea," he stated. I opened my mouth to object, but I was cut off. "Sorry Bella. I must insist that you have a ride home. Edward is an extremely responsible driver, or you could call your father."

I am guessing that he knew I would not call my father, because he looked extremely smug as he said that. So I accepted the ride.

Slowly Edward led me to his car. A shiny silver Volvo. "Nice car."

"Thanks," he said as he opened the door for me.

I slid into the car, and leaned into the cold, leather seats. I felt so safe in that moment. Like nothing could hurt me, and that if I closed my eyes, and life ended now it would be okay. Slowly my eyes closed, and my body relaxed. I was still awake was I was zoned out. Then I felt a cold arm around my waist. I peeled my eyes open to see Edward buckling my seat belt.

"Thanks," I whispered almost to tired to even say that. He nodded, and started the car. It roared to life with a gentle hum. So sweet and harmonious. I forced myself to sit up straighter, and open my eyes. I did not want to fall asleep in his car.

As we pulled out of the parking lot he hit eighty miles an hour. I screeched, and gripped both sides of the seat. He slowed down as a red light came upon us, and turned to face me. A small smile twitching on his lips. He was so beautiful. The mix of his marble like skin, and crooked smile sent chills through me. The good kind of chills. Not the cold, or nervous ones. I like these.

I finally pulled my eyes from his. The way he looked at me it was as if he could see my soul, and read me. Know everything about me. Which was scary. If he knew me he would surely hate me. I was a weak person with odd habits, I was a clumsy clod, and to top all of that off I was sick. The grade 'A' perfect target for pointing, and humor.

Finally I noticed that the light was green, and he was still frozen looking at me. No, looking into me.

"What," I asked unsure of myself.

He seemed to pull him self out of a trance like state, and shake his head. His ruff auburn hair falling loosely, almost as if it was caressing his angelic like face. So sweet, and innocent looking. Most defiantly an angle.

"Sorry, It's just you are like a puzzle Bella."

"A puzzle," I inquired of him. Irresolute of how I found speech when ever I was near this god like creature.

"Yes," he sighed. Still not moving his car. "Normally I am very good at reading people, but not you. You are like a cryptic puzzle."

"Really," I asked shocked. "Sometimes when you look me I feel as if you are looking into me, rather than at me." I let my head fall in mild embarrassment. Slowly blood rushed to my face.

"Oh, sorry," he said, sounding mystified. With that I felt my body being softly pushed back into the cool leather seat as he took off. I sighed slightly. Happily, almost. I pulled into my shell, and watched the trees pass. The lush green forest looked like it was infinite. Never ending. Despite the dangers that lurked inside of it, it even seemed innocent. "Would you mind if I turned on the radio," he asked of me pulling me out of my shield.

I smiled, and shook my head. He reached forward, with out taking he striking eyes off the road, and turned it on. I instantly recognized the music. Clair De Lune. I laughed slightly at that. No one back home ever listened to them. It was rap, and pop music that they cared for. Never alternative, or rock, or even classical.

"What is it," Edward asked, side glancing at me.

"I just can not believe that you like Clair De Lune," I responded with a small shrug.

"I like many things."

"Such as," I asked determined to learn more about him. He turned the car off, and faced it me. It was then I realized that we had arrived at my home. "T-thanks for the ride," I whispered no longer wanting to continue this conversation.

"No problem," a small smile spread over his face, but it was wrong. It didn't meet his eyes. I nodded, and un buckled my seat belt, and slid out of the car. I turned back to say another thanks to find him rolling down the passenger window. I bent down so I could hear him.

"Be safe Bella, and rest tomorrow."

"Okay, " I annunciated clearly. I had decided in that moment I would befriend him. Even if he had treated me like scum on my first day of Forks. "I'm actually heading into Port Angeles tomorrow. I need to hit a few book stores, and movie stores. I suppose I will see you on Monday."

He seemed a bit angry at my plans, but said nothing of the sort, simply nodded and agreed. Then he was gone.

I slipped inside to find Charlie passed out on the couch, beer in hand. I sighed heavily, and headed upstairs. I so needed to sleep. I was beyond tired.

When I opened my eyes in the morning I was shocked to see my widow open again, and the floor boards around it getting wet with the steady rain flow that seeped in my un-screened window. I jumped up as fast as my tired body would allow, and closed the window.

"Odd…." I sighed to myself as I grabbed an outfit for today. Or what was left of the day. I turned to see my digital clock beaming noon. "Whoa."

Once I was dressed, and my hair was situated around my face I slowly went downstairs expecting to see Charlie. Instead I found a note.

_Bella,_

_Sorry I had to work today. I will be home around eight o'clock. Pizza sound good, because I thought I would stop for some on my way home. Okay well, if anything comes up call me at work. _

_Charlie_

I was a little relieved that he was gone. He would not like it that I planned on driving to Port Angeles on my own. Especially with this storm that only seemed to be getting worse. I grabbed my keys and jacket, and stepped onto the porch where I was surprised to see my truck. How did that get here. I left it at the hospital…..

I assumed it was Carlisle as I soaked up the now booming heat that was seeping onto my pale skin form the small vents that decorated my dash board. Once I was warmed from the rain I backed out my driveway, and headed straight for one-o-one. My windshield wipers working overtime as the rain fell in buckets rather than drops.

Not being so used to driving in the rain it was making me slowly grow more and more anxious. My hands began shaking, and my vision started blurring. Not what I needed. I shook my head to clear my vision, and it worked; for the most part. It was then I realized that I had yet again forgotten to take my meds. Great! I was already entering the city limits of Port Angeles or I would have turned around.

I sighed and ignored the inevitable pain that was slowly making itself known in my abdomen, and parked in a shopping complex. My plan was to get a few movies on Europe, and Egypt. That way I could visit them from my living room. I knew that I would never get to go to them…not at my rate. So I climbed out of my truck into the drizzling rain.

I made my way into the nearest video store, and found Cleopatra, and a movie on the black death that spread over Europe. Two depressing movies, but it was the best I could do. Once I had them I walked over to the Barnes N' Nobel to find "The Completed Collection of Jane Austen". Then I made my way back to my truck to drop ff my collection of goodies.

"Not bad," I complemented myself as I headed out on foot to search for anything. I was '_Going explore a new area." _

I found myself walking a pier barefooted. I loved it. The ocean water looked so calm, and the air seemed to be lively, despite it's still ness. It was wonderful. The cherry on top of my perfect cake was that the sun had peaked out from the clouds, and was warming my skin, that always seemed to be cold now. I sat down on the edge of the pier, and looked up at the sun with my eyes closed just enjoying the feeling. The feeling of peacefulness. The smell of the salty air. The warmth of the sun.

I was so wrapped up in my old sensual experience that I paid no attention to the approaching foot steps. Even as they came right up behind me. What I did notice was that something, rather something's, were blocking my sun. I turned to be faced with a group of four males. All hovering over me.

The one that seemed to be leader was a wide, dark skinned man. With a thick mass of dark hair, and large muscles. Backing him up were three extremely tan males. All with blond curly hair. Almost looked like triplets. As soon as I looked them over I instantly felt unsafe.

"Hello," the 'leader' addressed me.

"Ummm, hi," I responded as I stood. At that moment a pain seared through my stomach worse than I have felt my entire sickness. Causing me to double over, and nearly fall over if it was not for the 'leader'.

Although when he saved me from falling, and after many thank you's he still refused to let go of me. I started to panic, and begin using what little strength I had to move away, but it was useless. He was stronger than me. Especially in my weakened state.

"Let me go," I begged.

All I heard was the laughing of the three men, and the groaning of the one who held he captive. I tried to pull my wrists free, and that only angered him. "Please," I begged time, and time again through the sobs of not only fright, but pain.

He ignored me, and began dragging me away. "NO," I screamed, and before I knew what was happening I saw the three men fall into the pier on the opposite side, and Edward was standing in front of me, and my captor.

"Let her go," he asked with what seemed like extreme stillness. The hearty man laughed, and kissed my neck to egg Edward on. Edward seemed to be in the frame of mind he could take this guy on. Impossible. He was huge!

"Let her go!"

"You want her," he asked Edward, "the go get her."

At that moment I felt my body lunged the ten feet into the water that seemed to be bottomless. I tried to fight my way to the top, but as still as the water looked above, below there was a strong under current that had me in a stronger hold then the man. My legs were thrashing in the water, and my eyes were searching for some form of light, but I saw none.

Could this really be the end. After months of battling for my life. Being in and out of hospitals. Facing painful procedures. Am I really going to die in the cold water. No comfort of anything, Was I really just killed by a man, did Edward really think he could save me? At least this was quick, and I was finally out of pain. No more fighting…

I let myself be swept by the under current. Letting it win.

"Bella," a frantic voice broke through to me. He sounded so worried. "Bella, can you hear me?" I felt my stomach being pushed, and water coming out of my mouth, but words had lost me. I had so speech. But finally I coughed a painful cough, and my world zoomed back into focus.

I felt the pain in my throat, and the rain hitting my face. I felt my body temperature dropping rapidly. Then I felt it. My stomach was searing with so much pain, tears rolled out of my eyes, and I was only vaguely aware of them due to my stark contrast in heat they brought. Everything was hurting.

"Bella can you hear me?" I knew that voice. It was so familiar, so soothing. I allowed my eyes to open into slits. I saw Edward bending over me, dripping wet. didn't he realize that the big man would get him. He had to get away. He couldn't risk his life to save one that was already diminishing.

"Edward…you have to go," I croaked, and winced in pain. "He'll get you…"

For a moment he stared down at me with uncertainty, and then it seemed to click. "Don't worry Bella. They are all gone. We have got to get you somewhere warm." With that I felt myself being lifted, and ran with. As if I was nothing. Yet the movement was so smooth, and gentle. Almost as if I was floating rather than being ran with.

"Where," was I all I could get out. I was simply to exhausted.

"Don't worry. I'll get you to the hospital," he reassured me. I clutched onto him, and I knew my face was petrified. He seemed to sense that. "Calm down Bella. I'll take you to my home. Carlisle is there." I was going to try and communicate him more, but I felt my body seated into a warm seat. I instantly relaxed.

Despite the heat I was still shivering, and shaking. I had never felt so cold, or so weak at all during my many years of my battle. It was to much to handle. I closed my eyes as the car hummed to life, and ignored the plea of Edward to stay awake. I couldn't any longer.


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Twilight or New Moon**

**Stephen Meyer does**

**Please read and Review :D**

Thanks so much for the reviews. I know this chapter took a little longer to get out than the rest, and I am so sorry for that. I had severe writers block. But it's done now, and I hope that it is good, even if it is a bit uneventful. I also know that things may be happening a little faster than they would normally in my story, but I don't want a full book here. ;) You will also be pleased to know I have already started on the next chapter. So get ready. I want reviews. I have been getting them and that makes me happy, but if I don't get any I will let it die. Muhaha. So review. Thanks to all my reviews. Especially **Artemis' Hunt**. Your criticism is exactly what I want. I want to get better. I can only hope that I have improved.

* * *

"Bella," I heard distantly. That name that belonged to me was being called out. I want to answer it, but I don't will myself. The feeling of nothingness is too lovely. I feel no pain, no fear, and no stress. Why would I willing go back to the place where I feel all of that? 

"Bella," the voice sang softly again. Yet it had a ring to it. A ring of worry. I opened my eyes for the voice. To soothe it, but I wasn't ready to face reality just yet .What I saw when my eyes opened sent ripples through me. I knew that I would not be permitted to sleep anymore. My mind would not allow it, because there stood in front of me was not only Edward, but Dr. Cullen, Alice, but also a women that I assumed to be Esme, Carlisle's wife.

"Oh thank goodness Bella. I was getting worried," Carlisle soothed. I was about to smile when I felt a small wave of pain come over me. Normally when they were so small I would show no physical signs that it existed, but it caught me off guard, and I winced. "Bella," he questioned again with that worried look.

"Where am I," I asked as I slowly began to sit up, and look around. The room was nice. Large. There was a large window on one end that took up the wall, and out side I saw a perfect full moon. Dazzling the cloudless night. It was so pretty, and so big. I thought I could reach out and touch it. Before I had a chance to fully gaze at the moon Carlisle had found his way next to me, and softly pushed me back into the soft bedding.

"You should rest. You have been through a lot today." I could see the worry that clouded his eyes. Even if it was hidden. I was good at seeing the hidden emotions. Since everyone seemed to try and hide them from me now.

Once I was settled back into the covers, I closed my eyes softly. It was beginning to be too much. I had eight eyes staring at me. All showing signs of worry, and confusion. I remained still, and quiet. Still feeling their eye burning into me. Before I knew it I was in a dream world, but it felt so real.

I sit on the edge of the wooden pier. Just looking out at the still water. Then it all happens again… The four men come up behind me. All of them! I stand, and this time I know what's going on quicker than before. I'd already lived it. I scramble away, screaming Edward's name to save me, but he's not there. I am alone. So, I don't get away in time. The largest man grabs my arm, and pulls me close. Planting kisses down my face, and neck. I am still trashing wildly, but it does not good against this man. He is too strong for me. Then I feel both of us, the man and I, plunge into the water. His grip tightens.. Slowly I slip away. No longer able to fight at all.

"Bella," an alarmed voice called. I began thrashing again. Not wanting to be near the man. I would not give my self to him. No way. "Bella, calm down," the man calls again. In a pleasant and alluring voice. I could tell he wanted me to calm down to make it easier for him.

"No!! Edward," I scream again. Wanting him to save me somehow, someway. I feel the mans grip around my waist draw me close. It was an extremely cold, and close embrace. My eyes begin brimming with tears, and I allow my body to relax. Knowing that I am a goner. There was no saving me now.

"Shh Bella. I'm here," a soft musical voice floats to my ears. Tickling me sweetly.

I slowly being re surfacing to reality. To the realization that that those four men are the past. That I am safe now, and no longer in danger.

"Edward," I ask slowly as I open my damp eyes. I feel him nod from behind me, his grip not lessoning. I understood now that I was safe, and for some unknown reason I was being comforted by Edward. I just allowed him to hold me, and I even leaned into him. I wanted his comfort. I needed it. There was too much stuff, and I could not handle it all. We remained that way until my breathing regulated, and I stopped crying.

"Are you okay now," he asked softly, as his grip lessoned.

I know that he did not ask me, or tell me to move from his lap, but I took that as a sure fire sign to move, so I did. I slid from his cold holding of me in his arms, to the mass of pillows next to him. It was then I noticed that I was not on a bed, but a couch. A black leather couch. There was also something that I noticed. No pain.

"I think so," I finally answered after making all of my observations.

He nodded, and sat up a bit. He pleasant, angelic face looking at me with coal back eyes. Wait, black eyes? I shook my head to get the questions out of my head.

"Are you sure," he asked, sounding incredulous.

All I could do was nod, and pull my knees to my chest. Another observation made itself known, I was in a different outfit. I was now in long baggy sweat pants, and hoodie. Then I started to feel panicked. There were to many questions that I wanted, no, needed answered! I tried to talk normally, but to no avail..

"Where am I? What happened? Where are the men? How did you save me? Where are my clothes? Where does Charlie think I am," I asked in a long run on sentence kind of way. I was breathless by the time I was done, and I was shaking. He looked into my eyes, and his expression was…..sympathetic?

"Shh calm down," he cooed softly touched my shoulders. One question at a time"

I shrugged from his hold, and stood up…..too quickly. This made me lose my balance as everything spun, but somehow Edward held me by my waist to steady me.

"T-thanks," I stammered, still dizzy.

"Of course, but you need to calm down. I will answer your questions, but only if you stay calm."

I nodded my head. It was a slow nod, and the head that was attached to my neck felt like it weighed a lot more than it normally did. Despite the countless hours of sleep I had gotten I was exhausted.

"Okay," he breathed into my ear. Sending the most sweet, and luxurious scent into my nose. It was simply divine.

"So you remember Port Angeles?"

I answered yes as he sat me back down onto the couch. He grabbed a small cover, and laid it over me. It was a simple quilt. Yet it felt like so much more on my body. So much more complex, almost as if it had a life story, and a secret it wanted to scream at me.

"Good. Well first off those men," he growled, "should not be an issue any more to anyone else that crosses their path." The way he said these words were almost scary. I wanted to know what had happened, but something in his tone told me not to.

"When I got you out of the water you were cold, and needed medical attention. I figured since Carlisle was your doctor I would bring you here." These words left his mouth in a softer tone, and I loved it. For some reason as he spoke I pictured his words cascading out of his mouth, a solid river of velvet. His speech was immaculate, and precise. I was envious of it, but that did not make me forget something he had said.

"You pulled me out of the water?"

"Yes," he answered as he arched his head back some.

"How," I asked dumbfounded. "The under current was so strong."

For a split second his face looked almost angry, and then it quickly recoiled, and he returned to his passive stature.

"You were weakened Bella, and I am a bit stronger that you are," as he said these words a playful smirk twitched at the sides of his lips.

I nodded my head slowly, and sadly. I was always weak now. I wasn't even sure how much longer school would be an option. I even had the felt ashamed. Ashamed that I was not strong enough to help myself anymore, and what worse I was starting to get scared. All throughout my treatments I had told myself that if I died it was my time. I told my self not to be scared, but when it was knocking on my door, it scared me. I didn't want to die. I still had my list.

"Bella?"

I looked over at him, and smiled. Quickly pulling away all of my emotions from my face.

"Sorry, I got lost in thought."

"Okay," he nodded, and seemed weary. "Charlie knows that you are here. Carlisle has the day off, and because he wanted to keep a eye on you Charlie agreed."

"Thanks, but I feel a lot better now." I said as I stood, and softly laid the quit on the edge of the couch.

"Let me tell Carlisle you plan on leaving," he addressed me as he left the room in a few liquid strides.

"Plan," I asked myself quietly as I walked out of the room. I found myself in a long corridor. It was simple, and elegant. At the end of the hall was a staircase going down. Meaning I was not on the ground floor, and someone had carried me.

I got to the stairs, and began heading down them slowly. I didn't want to fall again. Figuring I am Bella Swan that didn't exactly happen. About the third stair down I lost my balance, of course, and fell head first down the stairs.

I only got a microscopic scream out before I realized I was in someone's cold awaiting arms.

"Bella," he sighed, "why didn't you stay up there?"

I looked up at him, and his flawless face, and blushed. I was embarrassed. Extremely embarrassed.

"Sorry, but I just wanted to find the door."

"Carlisle said you can go home now, but Alice has already taken your car home, so you will need a ride."

"Oh…" was all I could think to say.

He laughed a deep throaty chuckle, and preceded to carry me down the stairs. This only made me blush more. The entire way down I begged of him to put me down, but he simply refused. Saying something about not wanting me to fall again.

As we reached the first floor Carlisle was waiting with a small bag. I noticed instantly it was my Med Bag.

"Here you go Bella," he smiled as he handed me my bag.

"Thanks," I answered, as I lowered my face to look down. I was embarrassed. I knew I had no reason to be, but I was.

"No problem."

The ride home was seemingly uneventful. The scenery was the same as always, green. The car was the same as I remembered. Clean, and faintly smelling of Edward. That sickly sweet smell that made my head swim. The soft sound of Debussy's Claire de Lune humming in the background.

"Edward," I asked softly. Not wanted to ruin the perfect moment.

"Yes," he answered with his perfect speech that made me jealous.

"How did you catch me like that? I was falling, and I know that I am not exactly light."

He sighed a bit, and his jaw line went rigid. I had ruined the mood.

"Bella you are extremely light, and as I told you I am stronger than you."

Who isn't," I asked a little snappy.

"No Bella," he sighed as he turned the car off. It was then I saw that we were parked in front of my empty looking house. "I am stronger than most humans."

"Humans? Are you implying you are something more," I asked. It made sense. He was beautiful beyond words, he had strange eyes colors, he was strong, he was everything that made me covetous. I mentally slapped myself for not thinking of it sooner.

"Something like that," he answered me. His tone not harsh, but no longer soft.

"Can I have a clue?"

"What if you don't really want to know?"

"But I do," I countered.

"No Bella."

"Why?"

"What if I am not the hero, but the villain?"

"Impossible," I sighed.

"Possible," he contradicted.

I walked into Charlie's house in a slight daze. How could he not be human? What about him was villainess. The only harm he has caused me ever was when he was a little rude on my first day. He even saved me from those men.

I quickly came to the conclusion that a) I didn't care what he was, b) It didn't matter, and c) I wasn't scared. As far as I am concerned he had never done anything to me to make me think otherwise. I would show him….

"Bella it's time for school," Charlie addressed me when I ignored the beeping of my alarm clock.

I moaned in return, and rolled over. On my bed side table was a glass of water, and my cocktail of pills. I guessed that he put them there so I would not forget after my stressful weekend. It meant a lot when he did sweet fatherly gestures like that. I know that he didn't have a lot of practice with it. It's not like he didn't want to. He did… But living about four states away made it a bit hard for him.

I quickly took my pills, and made my way to the bathroom where I got ready for school. I was to tired to care what I looked like, so I paid little attention to what I was actually wearing. Once I was ready, and I had my book bag I went downstairs, slowly. Charlie was already gone, but he left me a bagel, and a glass of milk on the kitchen table. I smiled at his thought, but quickly disposed of them. I wasn't feeling hungry. When was I ever hungry anymore?

I made sure the lights were off, and grabbed my windbreaker. It was storming again. Yea! But as I stepped quickly onto the porch I was knocked back by, what felt like, a stone wall.

The demi-god of Edward stood with a smiling face, and an umbrella. Of course he looked perfect. Even with his dripping wet hair. In fact the wet hair only added to his perfection.

"Good morning." I made a squeak noise, and nodded. This only caused him to chuckle. "I thought you might want a ride."

The way he said it may have sounded like an offer, but I knew otherwise. No was not going to be an option.

"Thanks."

He nodded, and opened the umbrella for me. I stepped under it timidly, and walked quickly to the awaiting Volvo that I was coming to love. With one fluid stroke the door was open for me. I was momentarily baffled at his motion that was too quick for my eyes, but brushed it off as I got into his heated car. Then he was sitting next to me, and I never saw him move.

"Feeling comfortable," he inquired of me, when I had turned to look at him.

"Yes," I answered truthfully. My voice held a strong backbone to it, that surprised even me.

He sighed, and rolled his eyes as he pulled out of Charlie's drive way, going on the all to familiar route to school.

"So," he requested, "any idea what I am yet?" I blinked, and shook my head slowly. "But you want to know…"

"Yes."

For a long moment he was silent, and his face was void of all emotions. He looked like a perfect statue that I wanted so desperately to reach out, and stroke. When we reached the school, he turned to face me.

"How do you feel about missing a day of school," he asked in an extremely serious, yet nervous tone. Almost as if he wished I would say no.

"I don't mind…." I finally was able to answer after I collected my thoughts.

"Oh Bella you trust to easily…" he complained as we once again pulled out of the school parking lot. I noticed that he was driving back towards Forks.

"Are you going to tell me why we are skipping."

"Soon…"

I nodded, and remained silent. His eyes were once again the golden topaz color, and didn't want them to go back to the black color. He seemed to do that when he was angry. My eye lids drifted during the speedy ride, feeling heavy from my restless night. Soon I was dreaming again….

"Bella," I heard a voice whisper into my ear.

I opened my eyes to find that Edward had parked the car, and we were near a trail. Somewhere I had never been before.

"Morning."

I sighed a bit, and say up. I knew I wasn't asleep that long, but long enough for the rain to diminish. Well at least where we were it had stopped.

"Funny.." I rolled my eyes as I said it.

We stepped out of the car, and he took my hand. This simple gesture sent an amazing sensation rippling through me. I saw him peak at me out of the corner of his eyes, but he said nothing as he lead me into the forest, and away from the trail.

An inner voice was screaming that I should not go into the unmarked trail of the forest with him, but I didn't care. I felt completely at ease with him.

"Where are we going?"

"My special place."

"Are you going to tell me what you are?"

"I'm going to show you."

* * *

Don't flip. The chapter is underway.

So Review!

Or it will die.

Muahaha

Thanks Ashley


	6. Chapter 6

**I want you all to understand why I am following the out line of Twilight. … The reason is this is Twilight retold from a different problem., but still Twilight. Bella comes to Forks for a different reason, she is sick. Does that make sense? I will have my own ideas as well, but this is also based off of Twilight. I am also sorry for two things. 1) Not updating in over a month. See my new beta AKA my best friend has been in the hospital, and…Sorry to say she didn't make it. I took it hard, and haven't had the heart to continue, but she loved this story, and she would have wanted me to continue. So for her….I did. 2) I am sorry for spelling errors, and everything…I had no one to read over it, and to be perfectly honest… I couldn't bring myself to do it. So…Sorry. I know that things have been hard for me, but I am really sorry for being a bad updater. I will work on it guys, and gals. I will try, and do better….. I am again, so sorry. Please give me time to find a beta, and stuff before you attack me with my grammar mistakes, which I can only guess will be plentiful. **

♥♥♥

**In loving memory of Jesse.**

♥♥♥

I was worried at the thought of walking off trail, yet at the same time I wasn't. I had Edward, and whenever I was with him nothing bad happened, or if it did he found a way of protecting me. Always…. He always found a way. With that on my mind a faint smile perched my lips.

"What is it," his angelic voice rang into my ear. Pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Oh," I blushed, "I was just thinking…"

Within a second he was right in front of me, and had me lifted to be in his face. A wide grin spread over his cold, marble-like features. It cool grin.

"About what," he inquired of me, without dropping me. Causing his sweet voice to put me in a trance like state, and his sickly sweet breath to tickle my nose. After I composed myself enough to form words I shook my head weakly. That cause a small chuckle to leave his lips.

"Can you , please, place me back on the ground," I asked of him. A pathetic attempt to sound irritated, can out with a smile.

"No."

With that he effortlessly tossed me to his back. His cold, hard, sculpted back. I laid my warm cheek on it, and closed my eyes. Trying to inhale his scent without him noticing.

"I can walk… I weigh more than the average back pack."

He simply shook his head, and ordered me, in a soft voice, to relax. I figured there was no arguing with him, so I obliged.

The walk from Edwards back seemed far less bumpy than it did for me. The feeling as if I was on a cloud could be compared to it. It was from his back did I get to see the scenery. It was a semi-dense forest, with trees that smelled heavenly. A lush green sheer bounced off the leaves, and ground.

Every few feet I would see a wild flower. Not just any wild flower, it was one I have never seen before. It had exactly six petals, and they were all this soft pink color, with small blotches of red on them. The center was a yellow-orangeish color. I couldn't help but admire them. They never seemed to be in bigger groups of two or three. It must take a lot of strength to stay by yourself, in such a deep place. The sun almost didn't touch the earth here. I guess I couldn't help but draw the parallels between them, and I.

"How much longer," my voice asked, but my mind was still admiring the flowers.

"Do you see the light up ahead," he asked me.

I pulled my eyes from the flowers to look ahead, and saw nothing but the looming trail.

"No, should I," I replied

"I guess it is a little far for your eyes," he answered in a chuckle.

"My eyes," I asked, hoping to draw out from him…what his eyes were.

He laughed, and speed up a bit to a jog. It was no more bumpy then the walk, but I still gripped his neck, afraid.

"Calm down Bella," he cooed, "it's not like I am going to drop you."

"You could, and just not mean to," I pointed out.

He just shook his head. "That will never happen."

After that he slowed back to his gentler pace. I went back to studying the flower.

"Can I tell you a secret," I asked him softly.

"You can tell me anything," he reassured me.

"I made a list…."

"A list," he asked sounding slightly curious, and annoyed.

I sighed softly. "Yes, a list. You know…Of things I want to do," I wanted to say of things I do before I die, but some people do the whole sympathy thing when I say anything pertaining to my own death.

"Really," he asked. His voice sounded indifferent, but with an underlying tone of sadness.

"Yeah, and going exploring is on there. It's number five. So thanks…."

"Thanks," he inquired confused.

"Yeah…for helping me work on my list."

"Your welcome Bella," he whispered softly, that I almost didn't hear him.

"Hey," I exclaimed, "I see some light…."

He laughed, and I smiled. Happy at our sudden change in mood.

Soon we walked up to the edge of a small clearing, and Edward helped me slide from his back. I smiled, and walked through the break in the trees to the most beautiful meadow I had every seen. It was a perfect circle, and cleared of all trees. My special wild flowers grew all around, and were met with grass that went to my ankles, but it was soft grass, wispy grass. Not that cold hard stuff that makes you itch. And it was warm here, despite the fact that the glorious sun moved behind some dark clouds.

"Bella," Edward warned as he stepped closer into the clearing. "I thought today would be sunny, but it seems that my weather channel was wrong…." he sighed, and stepped next to me. "Sorry."

I looked up at him, and smiled. Momentarily froze by his beauty.

"I love it," I whispered. Sounding like a child who just stepped into Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Time seemed to stand still as I looked over the place that I would never forget, even if I never saw it again. "Are you still going to "show" me Mr. Cullen," I asked with a small smirk. It only made me sad that he could do it better than I.

"Well…I will on a sunny day," he whispered, seemingly lost tin thought. I nodded, and looked at his vacant expression, he seemed to be having a conversation within himself, of what I am not sure. So I took what energy I had and decided to look around the meadow. I was all the way on the other side of the meadow leaning down to pick a flower from a small batch when suddenly I felt Edward cold grip on my hips. Not in a violating way, but a strong, worried way.

"Bella, be careful"

"I'm just picking flowers," I said, teasing him a bit. "I'm not breakable, I'm sick."

Edwards face twisted into something in the lines of amusement, and sadness at the sound of my words, but he released me none the less, and sat down watching me from the center of the field. I pretended not to notice, but in reality my face was turning the color of a cherry, and the butterflies in my stomach were going quite fast.

"Bella," Edward called, sounding inquisitive. "Are you okay?" I could hear the smile on his lips.

"Umm, yeah." I tried to sound cool, calm, and collected, but my voice got high pitched at the last second.

I walked over, and sat down. He was so pretty that I remembered this doll I had as a child. Her name was Suzy, and she was so attractive. She looked just like Edward. Topaz eyes, pale skin, and she even had the smell. It was no where near as great as he was, but as a child I loved that doll. My best friend had gotten it for me when he traveled to Italy. I never saw him after that…I think I was 13 or 14 he was around 17 or 18. He watched me all the time. He even looked like Edward only…his eyes were a deep blue, almost violet color. I smiled at the memory, and laid back into the grass, and shivered some. The sun wasn't here, and even if it was 70 degrees I was chilly.

I closed me eyes and thought of Arizona, and the warm heat, smiling at the memory. Then I felt something warm tuck around me but I was too far submersed to care. I was falling asleep, and I didn't want to. I wanted to be with Edward, to know…"what" he was, but I couldn't stop it…It came to fast.

"Wha," I mumbled as I felt myself moved slightly. I looked up, and saw Edward leaning over me. "Where am I," I asked, noticing that there wasn't a sky above my head, but a roof.

"Your room, just sleep."

"No." I know I sounded panicked, with no real reason.

"Bella calm down, shh," he soothed as he sat on my bed.

"Don't leave me."

"Why?"

"I like it when you are here," I blushed, and looked away from him. He softly grabbed my face, and turned me to see into his deep, penetrating eyes.

"I like being here, but it's night."

"I don't care…" I whispered.

"Okay." I smiled, happy at his giving in easy. He laid down next to me, and softly lowered his arm to hold me close. I snuggled into his chest, and closed me eyes. Inhaling his sent, and taking in his beauty.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I … I like this."

"Me too."


	7. Chapter 7

**(Hello, This is Ashley. Thanks for all of your support, and understanding for my time relapse. I have started to get back into a routine, and I hope that is comforting. As for the one extremely rude review, I just want to say that…hurt. It wasn't helpful, or anything nice, just rude. Please… Please….don't be so hateful. I have never been hurt by a review, but yours hurt. If you have a problem, come to me… sighs Okay…without further ado, here is the next chapter. Super long to make up for all the bad I have done. Again, I checked it closely, as well as my grandmother. She saw none, but she is a grandma, and she may have made a mistake. If you see anything, tell me, and I will try, and do better. Thanks.**

**---Disclaimer: As always. I am NOT Stephenie Meyer, I do NOT own Twilight or New Moon, I do NOT own the characters, and I do NOT claim these facts.) **

In the morning the alarm went off, and it was loud. I pried my eyes open only to see Edward leaning over the alarm turning it off. I blinked to make sure it wasn't a dream. I wanted it to be real, but this type of stuff didn't happen to me. I was a loner kid. I have never had a real boyfriend. I am Bella Swan, yet here at 9:30am was a boy, and not just any boy, but the most handsome boy I had ever seen. 

His hair was, as always, tousled. His eyes were a soft honey color, and his clothes. The maroon sweater clung to his pale features contrasting so well, and the jeans that had the faded touch in the knees. It was breathtaking, and unfair. How come he got the great looks, and charming personality. I always assumed from my secondhand assumptions that they didn't go together.

I was pulled from my mind boggling excursion by a soft chuckle from my God on earth.

"What," I asked sleepily, as I blushed.

"You have been staring at me for a few minutes."

"Oh…" I was mortified. Why did my brain have to choose now, when I was just awake, my clothes are wrinkled, my hair is a mess, and my breath smelled to zone out? "Sorry."

"Don't be," he replied in that softly voice I loved so much.

I nodded and sat up. Then I panicked. "Charlie!" My heart started racing, as well as my mind. My father would throw a fit if he knew that a boy was not only in my room before noon, but that he had slept here.

Edward was next to me in a split second, holding me to his chest. "Calm down… He's gone for work. I have great hearing," he laughed, "I moved out of you bed, and out your window to change and he never knew."

I knew I should ask a ton of questions, such as, how he did that, and etc, but I just nodded against his marble like chest. I didn't want a reason to be pulled away from him, but I got one as soon as my stomach growled some.

"I think you need fed, how about you wash up, and I take you out," Edward suggested.

"Okay, but I can just eat here." I didn't want him to spend his money on me.

"Nope." That was all he said as he stood in one fluid moment and walked to my door. "I will wait down stairs."

I agreed reluctantly. There was not going to be an argument, and I knew it. So I grabbed some comfortable yet nice looking clothes. They fit me loosely of course, but all of my clothes did since I've lost weight, and made the short distance across the hall for a hot shower.

I scrubbed myself clean, as well as my teeth. I wanted to smell clean to him…I had a feeling he had great smelling as well as hearing. Once I was sure I looked okay I made my way downstairs where Edward sat in a kitchen chair still as a statue looking at a picture of me when I was nine years old. I was holding my moms hand and smiling.

"I remember that day," I acknowledged as I stepped up behind him. "My mom and I went on a mother daughter date, and saw Titanic at the old movie theatre." I smiled at the memory. I cried for hours over that movie. "That was the day I learned that sometimes it is best not to have love." I frowned. It was true. Why fall in love with someone when they would die, and leave you all alone. Broken beyond repair?

"You look happy."

"I was."

"Was?" He turned his head to look at me.

"Well, I still am. I just mean on that day I was really happy. My mom and I were bonding, and we went to lunch, and all the way out of town just to go to a water theme park. It was exciting."

"So your still happy?"

"Yeah. I am." He looked a little shocked that I was happy. I could only guess why, so I averted my glance to the floor tiles, that reminded me I needed to clean the house.

"Can we go?"

"Please," I responded as I walked to the counter, and opened my pill bottles. I quickly took them with water, and slid on my coat with the help of Edward's skilled fingers, and we were out the door.

He got onto the interstate with his shiny Volvo. I was beginning to love this car. It always made me feel even more safe. If that was possible.

"How about pancakes," he asked sounding hopeful.

"Sure. I am starving." A crooked smile appeared on his lips, and that made me momentarily freeze, he did that so well. How he did it I have no idea, but he did.

He took me to a small café about thirty minutes from Forks entrance. It was a nice place, clean, and not to crowded. The place smelled of coffee, and even thought I didn't like coffee, it smelled nice. I could hear the soft sizzle of food on the back grill. Bacon, maybe? I was instantly in love.

"You like it here," he asked after I had stayed quiet, leaning into the bench with my eyes closed, taking it all in.

"Yes, very much so. It is so…" I looked at him and shrugged. "I don't really know what to call it, but it's nice."

He nodded, and smiled at me as the waitress came up.

"What can I get yall," she asked, with a heavy country accent. I blinked. I haven't ever heard an accent so thick so far north, but I smiled, and asked for an order of pancakes.

"As well as," Edward chimed in. "Orange juice, eggs, bacon, and toast, please." I loved that smiled that he completed that with, but I scowled none the less.

"I can not eat all of that…it's way to much."

"Just to please me."

I nodded some, and looked him in the eyes. I was mesmerized by his deepness. He always seemed to be studying me, and that should creep me out, but I was intrigued. "What are you thinking," my voice asked, sounded slightly cloudy, and far away.

"About what you are thinking."

"And what might that be."

"I have no idea," he responded softly, and looked out the window at the passing cars, and hidden sun.

I looked at him for a moment. He seemed sad that he could not know what I was thinking, and that is normal, so why would it make him sad? I remembered all those times when I wondered what someone was thinking, but not ever knowing was to be expected… Shouldn't it be the same for him?

"Edward," I asked him as he looked away from the window.

"Yes."

"Want to play a game," I smiled brightly, and look up as the waitress brought me my juice, and food. It smelled heavenly, but there was three plates to hold all of it, and I know I could never eat it all.

"What kind of game?"  
"It's called, 'What If'."

Edward turned his deep, smoldering gaze on the waitress who was kind of standing there, just looking at him. "Thank you," he paused, and continued. "for the food."

She blushed, and pulled some of her flaxen hair behind her ear, her green eyes sparkling with earnest. "Sure, sure. Anythang for you two." (AN: I know it is spelled wrong)

"I think we are fine," he added and turned back to me. Looking at the women, whose name tag I just noticed said 'Bobby', I saw some sadness in her expression. She wanted his attention, and I had it. I felt pretty bad about it, yet at the same time. I didn't.

"So how do we play this game, 'What If'?"

I looked back at my demi god, and smiled. "Easy…I ask a 'what if' question, you answer it, and then you ask me a 'what if 'question. It just keeps going, well until we get bored of it."

"Sound fun, but you need to eat," he responded coolly as he extended his hand at my untouched mounds of food.

"Okay, I will….do you want some. There is a lot here, and---"

"No thank you Bella."

"Okay, who starts?"

"I think that because this was your idea, you should start."

"Okay." I picked up my fork, and cut a piece of pancake away from the pile, chewing it slowly as I thought of a question. "What if, the sun never shown." I looked up to see his expression had a playful hint to it, and that made me happy.

"Then everyone would grown very pale."

"Like you," I added quickly, and almost instantly regretted it. "Sorry…I just mean that---"

"It's okay. I know that my family, and I are pale… It is not a secret."

I nodded feeling bad as I ate another bite of the pancake.

"Okay, my turn," he asked, I could hear the smile on his lips, so I nodded. My mouth still full. "What if I got my sister to take you shopping?"

I coughed, and gasped for air as my pancake went down the wrong pipe. Edward seemed startled, and maybe a little scared. He quickly handed me my orange juice, and I drank it to clear my throat. Once my breathing had regulated, he smiled that same crooked smile. "You don't like to shop do you?"

"No…I don't just not like to shop, I hate it."

"Well… "

"Well what," I asked, feeling out of a joke.

"Nothing. Eat, and it's your turn."

Again I took a bite of pancake, and thought. Then I thought of a question I knew he would hate to answer, but I had to know. "What if the sun had been showing in that meadow, what would you have shown me?"

Time seemed to freeze as I looked him over. His expression was unreadable. Not mad, angry, sad, or anything, blank. That worried me. All I seemed to be able to see was his eyes, and his hands that sat folded on the table.

"Bella…" he sighed. "What is it you think I am."

"I don't know."

"Human?"

"No."

"A good guy."

"Yes." I answered to quickly, and his eyes seemed to darken.

"Bella… What if I am not the good guy."

"No." He looked up at me, almost startled, so I clarified. "You can not ask me a 'what if' question, because you have not answered mine."

"If the sun had been out I would have shown you my true self," he spoke his words softly, as if he were carefully planning each one as it slid from his mouth.

"What would that have been?"

"A bad guy."

"That is impossible to believe. You have never done anything bad, if anything you have saved me, and proved yourself a good guy."

"That is only one instance."

"You are showing it now, what makes you think you are a bad guy?"

"Eat." He said it softly, but I knew it be a command. Not an order, but there wasn't any room for question so I ate. We sat like that until I ate a great chunk of my food, and sat back sipping my orange juice. I didn't want to say it, but he had scared me. He had gone stiff, silent, and I wasn't scared of that, but more scared I had pushed him away, and at this point I think I was falling for him. A laughable thought. Me, Bella Swan, falling for a boy. That is a first.

Sure I have had crushes in the past, but just the thought of, 'Oh he's cute.' It never went deeper than that, because the boys who were cute, were crude, and had an IQ that matched that of an average gold fish.

"Think Bella. Think of what you know about me." I was pulled from my thoughts quickly. Looking at him, all focused. "I don't eat, your type of food You never see me in broad daylight. I have heightened senses. I am strong, and I will even add one more thing for you. You smell amazing to me."

"But--"

He shook his head, and looked at me. "You are smart, I know that you can figure it out. I will never lie to you Bella, but I will never come right out and say it. If you think of an idea as to "what" I am, and it is true, I will tell you. As well as if you wish to never see me again, I would do that as well."

I tried asking him more questions, a shabby attempt to lure it out of him, but he would hear none of it. He wasn't rude, just distant.

After he paid the waitress, he drove me home. "Thank you for accompanying me to brunch."

"Isn't it the other way around," I asked. Trying to draw out the inevitable.

"I suppose." He looked forward, to the road, and I sighed softly. "I will see you in school, and Bella?"

"Yes." I opened the door, and slid out of the car.

"Be safe."

"Of course." I closed the door, and headed inside. I looked back to wave to him, but he was already gone. Frowning I stepped inside, and grabbed my keys, and wallet. I wasn't sure where I was going, just out of here. I needed to think, and staying around the house wasn't going to help me. I also grabbed Charlie's fishing map. I wasn't going fishing, but maybe it could help me find a quiet place to think. A little felid, perhaps?

The map was easy to read, and soon I found myself on a single lane road (good to help me not get lost) leading into the forest. It was quiet, and dark, so I turned on my headlights to see better. The bumpy trail, and the not so smooth ride of my truck made it quite an interesting drive. I laughed at myself as I was bumped up so bad I hit my head on the inside of my cab. I decided then that I had gone far enough, so I pulled over. It was a perfect little spot. Plenty of room to turn my truck around when I was ready to leave.

This little field wasn't even a fair comparison to the one Edward had showed me, but it was still nice. It had some other unknown wild flower popping up all over the place, and a faint smell of honey. I loved it the moment I stepped into it.

I pulled myself out of the truck, not bothering to take my keys. There wasn't any need. I thought to myself. That a) no one would want to steal my truck, and b) I was out here all alone.

All alone. That was once a scary thought, but I felt at ease in all the green. For once. I saw a small trail off to the side, and though I would explore. It would be fun to see where I would wind up.

It was an easy trail, flat, so even in all of my accident proned self wouldn't get hurt that bad. The entire time I walked I continued to roll down the list of hints I had about Edward.

a) He doesn't eat, my type of food  
b) I never see him in broad daylight  
c) He is strong  
d) I smell amazing to him.  
e) He had heightened senses

The list I concocted kept getting more, and more useless. Nothing added up. He had admitted to not being human, but not in so many words, what does that leave me?

I had only been walking about ten minutes, and I was about to turn around, when I heard a rhythmic sound of water splashing. I walked a little more, and soon came to a small body of water, a pond maybe? Complete with a waterfall about five feet high. The water was crystal clear, still un-contaminated by the peoples of Forks. It was so peaceful, and beautiful.

I walked along the shore of the shore until I reached a rock that jutted out into the water. It seemed sturdy, so I walked to the edge, slid out of my shoes, and let my feet dangle into the water. It was cold, but that was expected. Again as I sat that I thought of Edward.

a) He doesn't eat, my type of food  
b) I never see him in broad daylight  
c) He is strong  
d) I smell amazing to him.  
e) He had heightened senses

What could he be? What could he be. Then another thought ran through my head, my list….10. Go swimming in a lake, alone. and… 12. Ask, "what if".

I had done one, and sure this pond wasn't a lake, but it would do. This was on my list. I stood, and pulled off my wind breaker, stretched my arms, and jumped into the icy water. I felt a cool rush as I plummeted into the calm water. Opening my eyes I could see fish all around the crystal abyss. I stayed down there, holding my breath, and looking. Forcing myself to dive deeper into the water. It was a good 12 feet until I reached the bottom. There was no long light above me, as I was pretty deep. A pang of fear swept through me, and need for air. I gasped in the water, and took in a mouthful.

Everything started to get a little fuzzy, but I strained and kept it in focus. I kicked from the bottom to go up, and before I got far I was jerked back down. The leg of my pants caught on something. I knew not to panic, but it was impossible. I pulled tightly on my pants, and screamed more bubbles.

I the midst of all of this, Edward floated back into my mind.

a) He doesn't eat, my type of food  
b) I never see him in broad daylight  
c) He is strong  
d) I smell amazing to him.  
e) He had heightened senses

A vampire!!!

I pulled again, and I was released. Quickly I made it to the surface, and gasped. Taking in big breaths full of air, everything became clear again. I bobbed in the water, and looked around.

Edward was a vampire. How did that come to me as I came so close to death, again, I do not know, but it did, and I was sure of it. I knew what he was, and oddly…I was comforted, rather than scared. I was happy that I knew. Edward Cullen was a vampire, what about the rest of his family…

**(This chapter will continue right off in the next---a 2 part chapter...I also want to thank Addie W.** and her **Edward's Uploading Solution story. It helped me get this out there. ;) )  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Okay. I had no idea that I had so many people I would be disappointing. Please understand that this was not my intent, I was doing this as an apology. -sighs- I do love to write, and I do not care if the ideas are similar. Look around! They are all almost similar! I still am getting 10-12 flaming emails a day. No exaggeration. I am only a teenager, and this is getting to be so much. So I propose that this matter be dropped. No more reviews saying anything. Nothing. Let it go. If you all can, so can I, and by so doing…I will keep writing. Thanks.**

♥♥♥**Jesse♥♥♥**

I stayed in the water for awhile. Swimming, and thinking. It was so relaxing, and fun. I couldn't hear anything but myself, and the small waterfall. Peaceful…

"Vampire…vampire…." I thought out loud. So cool. It all made sense now. How he was so good at…everything, and how he was so pale, and everything else…

After I finished swimming slash thinking I got out of the water, and pulled myself up on the rock. I relaxed for a few, and drip dried as I walked back to the truck, dragging my windbreaker.

The drive home was too quiet. My mind was spinning a thousand miles an hour with all of the new information that had been composted. Not to forget the fact that I was dripping wet. As I got out of the forest path a crack of lighting gave the cue for the rain clouds to let loose, and I mean loose!

I hated driving in the rain, but I had gotten used to it over the last week or so. It was life in Forks, but I was a little uneasy as I was the only car on the road, and it was coming down so hard. Sighing I pulled off to the side of the road. I knew that I shouldn't drive when I was so scared, and having so much trouble seeing. Mental note: I needed new windshield wipers.

"I'll head home when the rain dies down…," I whispered to myself as I shut off my truck, and pulled a jacket around me nice and tight. I was left to hear the rain ping on the roof of my car. The rhythmic _ping-ping-ping _soon put me in a drowsy trance, and before I knew it I had dozed off into an easy sleep. Eased by the noise, and the warmth that being still brought me….

_Looking around I knew I was no where that looked familiar. Sitting in a small room with a single light from the corner. Placing my hand directly in front of my face showed me that it was extremely dark, as I was unable to see even it. _

_Hearing my heart rate speed up in fright I closed my eyes, and took a breath. I knew that I needed to be calm. Being scared would make this situation way worse, and I didn't even know what the situation was. _

_I opened my eyes and crawled slowly to the light. It was so faint, and so far away. No matter how close I thought I was getting it still looked so far away. I reached, and reached, but I was never closer. _

"_Bella," a voice sounded above me. Loud, horse, and grade "a'" horror movie appropriate. Stopping I looked up. It was just as dark as in front of me._

"_Hello."_

"_Stop moving Bella." The horror voice was so fast, and panicked sounding._

"_But---why?"_

"_They'll get you! Stay still1!!" Slowly as the voice spoke, like an egg shell, the horse voice peeled away to sound as crystal clear as molten lava, as cool as dry ice, and as smooth as velvet._

"_Who, who will get me?"_

"_Stop! Bella---" _

_Before he got anymore out a hard force slammed into my back, and I heard a crack from my ribs. As I cried out an icy cold hand gripped my mouth, and shut me up. I grabbed at the restraining arm painfully to get away, but it was no use. _

"_Stop moving you silly girl," he snarled into my ear. A breath that smelled so rancid I flinched away. He shoved my face into the cool ground, and held me down. With the only sound of my breathing, and his I was able to hear as his breath came closer to my ear. _

_Then that indescribable breath reached my nose. I squirmed again and I felt something dull and painful pierce my neck!!_

(**A/N: This is important…remember it.**)

……."Ahh!!" I sat up quickly, and I saw a new day before me., and I still sat in my truck. "Shit!"

I pulled off the side of the road, and started to drive home. All the while my mind was spinning. Dad would be going crazy, I had school, dad was going to be going crazy, I didn't do my homework, and dad was going to be crazy!!

As I finally pulled into view of my home my stomach wrenched. I couldn't even pull into my driveway it was so packed. "Great…"

First I noticed not only my fathers cruiser, but two others, an ambulance, three cars I've never seen before, and a car I knew to well. A silver Volvo. As I pulled on the side of the road a crowd moved to my truck so fast I was scared.

"Bella!"

I hated the attention on me, and I hated the fact that all of these people were so worried about me, and for no reason. I fell asleep….what a lame excuse.

"Dad," my voice sounded so small, and weak. My knees were shaking from all of the faces.

"What happened Bella?"

Before I got a chance to answer I was pulled through the crowed by an EMT to the ambulance. "No, stop. I'm fine…. Please."

The EMT's were like zombies that had no coherent thought, or at least any thoughts of their own. They shoved me, not so softly, onto a bed, and started checking my vitals.

"Dad," I tried to make my voice sound even more panicked so he would take me away from this crowd, and into our home.

They poked me in my arm, and I scowled at them. Not sure why I needed a shot.

As I looked back at the slowly diminishing crowd I saw him. Edward, standing next to his father. He looked almost mad, and relieved at the same time. He smiled a crooked smile when he saw me looking at him. It helped…

"Bella…what happened?"

"Dad… I went for a drive yesterday, and on the way home it started to rain hard. So I pulled over, and was just going to wait for the storm to pass, but I feel asleep. I'm so sorry."

I knew that my face was crimson in color from utter embarrassment. I could swear that I saw Edward's torso rise, and fall with a soft chuckle, but said nothing as Charlie pulled me towards the door.

"Thanks for coming. ---- No she's fine. ---- Okay. Bye."

Once the door was closed I flinched, because now it was just Charlie and I. No crowd to keep his small temper from flaring.

"What were you thinking?!?!"

"Dad, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to be home all alone. I had stuff to process."

"Stuff? What kind of stuff? I was worried sick about you Bella, and then I find out you were gone all this time, and only because you fell asleep."

"Sorry." I looked down at the floor, and sighed. "Honest dad… I really am."

"It's okay Bells, just be careful. Be safe."

I nodded, and headed upstairs, not even going to my room I went to the bathroom, and got into the shower. A nice hot, steamy shower. Running my fingers through my hair, and letting my worries rush down the drain.

As I stood there, and the water began to run cold I remembered Edward, and I remembered what he was. Not only my own personal angle, but he was also vampire. The being from my nightmare, but in my dream that wasn't him. That was someone else. Someone who wanted to hurt me, and that wasn't Edward. He never wanted to hurt me, he was always nice, kind, and loving. A little mysterious at times, but that was it.

Soon I wrapped a towel around myself, and padded to my room. A note taped to my door from Charlie awaited.

_Bella,_

_Had to go to work, sorry. You don't need to go to school today. But please! Do not do anything silly again. Be careful, and don't forget your meds. _

_Dad_

I sighed, and went into my room. A scream left my lips for a second before I felt his hand cover my face.

"Bella, calm down."

"What are you doing here," I hissed at him.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine," I whispered. Then it hit me, Charlie was gone, why was I whispering.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Because there is a boy in my room, and I am in only a towel," then I squeaked. I was only in a towel. "Get out!!"

He smirked, and walked to the door. "I will be downstairs."

I pushed him out, and quickly got dressed in some simple jeans, and a blue t-shirt. Nothing fancy, yet no grease spotted things either. Quickly ran a brush through my hair, and brushed my teeth.

"So…" I said slowly as I got downstairs, only I stopped mid step in the kitchen. There he sat in all of his perfection in a kitchen chair.

"So…?"

I shook my head, and walked to the cabinet to take my medicine. I kept my back to him for a moment, out of a weird dizziness that settled over me. Clinging to the counter for support, I took slow steady breaths to try, and ease out of the fog.

"Bella, are you okay?"

A simply head nod--or was it a shake, and he was right next to him. One cool arm wrapped around my waist, and one holding my hand. With extreme ease he got me to the couch, and sat me down. I blinked a few times, and smiled at him.

"Thanks."

"What's the matter?"

I laughed. A soft laugh, and blushed. "Ummm you."

"Me?" his countenance fells slightly in confusion.

I nodded in a mettle way. "Yeah. You were just so--" I broke off as I felt the heat in my face rise exponentially. I could see the sparkle in his eye. So amused, and so perplexed all in one big bundle.

"What was I Bella." I could feel the couch shift slightly as he edged closer.

"You are a vampire." My mind frozen, and I could hear the _tick-tick-tick_ of the clock. "Edward I---"

His icy fingers touched my arm softly---hesitantly, and he shook his head. Staying quiet for awhile. Still as a statue. Slowly I turned away from him, and pulled my arm free from his hand. "I'm sorry--- I--," sighing I stood, and walked to the kitchen.

I knew that I had said that wrong, that I had made my statement all wrong. I felt like an idiot, and as if I would crumple, and cry for my own stupidity at a seconds notice.

Just as I had my foot on the stairs a cool, sweet air clouded my face. "Bella, I'm not mad." He sounded calm, forcefully calm, and even a little bewildered. "You took me off guard."

"S---"

"Don't say sorry, but slip on your shoes. We are going somewhere… There is someone who wants to meet you."

"Who?"

"It is a secret dear Bella. Get your shoes, I will get you a jacket."

"How----" He was already gone. I was going to have to get used to this, by the time I got to the living room he was already there, and had a jacket laying on his finger.

"Took you long enough."

"Oh hush," I pouted softly, and he chuckled.

As I slid on my jacket, He pushed me out the door, and to his car. I was _really_ beginning to love this car.

"Who?"

"A secret."

I looked out the window, knowing that he wouldn't tell me. As he drove I started to get a little nervous flutter in my stomach. The kind a person gets when they are really excited, or hyper… I was just nervous. Shifting in my seat, I looked over at him.

"Don't worry Bella," he said without looking at me. "Your going to love her."

"Ah ha! So it is now be clarified as a female."

"Yes," he chuckled, with a slight nod.

I went back to paying attention to the road. He had directed the car to the out skirts of town, and was going really fast into a direction I've only been in once.

"Slow down," I asked softly. Not wanting to offend him, or anything.

"Don't worry. I will not crash. I love my car too much."

"Oh and you care none for your self or the passenger."

"I can not be harmed in an accident, as for you….trust me. I will not crash. I have a ton of experience with driving."

"How much," I asked curious. More so about his _real_ age than driving experience.

"A lot."

As I opened my mouth to ask more we pulled off the street onto a small side rode. Both sides of it were crowded with green trees, and shrubbery. Pretty.

"Where-----" I stopped when I saw him sideways smirk at me. Stopped dead in my tracks. It was so unfair he was so beautiful.

The road, I am sure, would have been a bumpy ride had it not been for his skilled driving, and a nice car, but with it was smooth, and pleasant. Other than a weird thought that the trees would crash in on the car and grab me at any moment. Am I crazy?

"…..Alice."

I looked over at him, and raised a curious eye brow. "Alice?"

"We are meeting Alice."

"Your sister. I know her. She is my partner in English."

"Well…," he trailed off into a pause. Not a good sign.

"Well….?"

"She is going to come with us to the mall."

"Mall?!"

I hated the mall. It was always so crowded with people that were so in tune with the latest sales that no one cared if they totally bumped into you, or worse.. It was as if the stores were fresh meat, and some of the people starving lions. Funny analogy, but the sad truth of the matter.

I also argue that I lose IQ points when I go, because a hopeless guy--usually stoned--- traps me, and talks for about an hour. Even if there are perfect Abercrombie and Fitch models walking around.

"Yes Bella," he replied with a short chuckle. "We are taking you to the mall. Alice loves to shop, and want to give you a nice 'make better'."

"What?"

A make better? What was that? I know I didn't look as good as designer Alice, but no one could. All of their family were gorgeous. All of them. But then I also remembered my list… _11. Get a new style._

"Edward…I know I am changing the subject, but question." His face scrunched slightly, but he nodded. "Why is it that your whole family…looks so…---"

"Beautiful?"

I blushed a light shade over my cheeks. I hated how silly my questions sounded, but I really didn't know what made them vampires. I didn't know how strong they really were, I didn't know why all of their eyes were the same yellow color; if that mattered, I didn't know anything.

"Yes."

"Bella," his face contorted to a perplexed expression. He was thinking. About what I wasn't so sure. "It is a little hard to explain, but I'll try." A nod from me, a signal for him. "Because we are vampires our typical diet is human, because of this our beauty is to --- lure humans, our food."

"Oh." It had never occurred to me that as a vampire they would really suck the blood of humans. "There is so much about you I don't know yet…what---"

"Later Bella. I will explain all of it later. I promise."

"Okay." Looking back out the window I could see we had arrived at the huge house I had been to only once. It was the same. Still as huge, still as beautiful, still holds that nice memory of waking up in Edwards arms. I jumped when there was a knock at the window

Looking over I saw Alice, and instantly calmed. She laughed a sweet laugh, and crawled into the backseat.

"I hope you are excited Bella!"

I nodded, and smiled. "Sure….."

"Ah, why so sad," she asked in a laughing tone. A tad disappointed I wasn't as thrilled to play Barbie as she had hoped.

"Bella isn't so keen to the mall idea.."

There was a silent moment where Edward nodded, and Alice was looking fixedly at him. Odd…

Soon the car was started, and we were on the way to the mall. It should have taken us about 2 hours to get there, but with Edward accelerating to over 100MPH, and careening in and out of cars so smoothly we arrived in about 45 minutes.

As soon as the car came to a halt I lunged myself from the car, and nearly fell onto the cement had Edward not rushed to my side.

"Bella," he addressed me with a worried smirk. He knew I was okay.

"You are a maniac…"

"Quiet possible."

He pulled me to my feet, and slid his arm around my waist, pulling me along softly to the place I was dreading, while bubbly Alice jumped up and down in excitement.

"What do you want to do first Bella?" She had come up to be next to me, and smiled sweetly. "Hair, make up, or clothes?"

"Umm…Wait?! Hair?"

"That is a wonderful idea." She tugged my arm into a stylist. "I have an appointment for Bella Swan."

The receptionist was dressed better than I was, it was apparent that this was not the Fantastic Sams I was used to. This place had a retro slash modern design. Black and white, with clear glass as the decor.

"Yes. This way." I looked back at Edward, he was sitting in a chair that looked as uncomfortable as can be. Yet he looked relaxed, and calm. He nodded reassurance, and smiled at me. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of his loving smile. I was falling in love with him…. "This is Pierre he will be your artist." Since when do hair stylist's get called artists?

"Hello."

"Ello lub." This was going to be entertaining. A French name with a British accent. "What can I deub for yew."

Alice chimed in before I had a chance. "We want rocker slash punk hair. Simple, and easy to deal with. Keep the length, loose some thickness."

"Ay lub, I can do that."

"Rocker," I asked in a soft voice. "Alice please… I really don't want this. This is too expen------"

"Don't worry. I have daddies credit card. All is okay."

As the man started combing my hair I made small talk with Alice. Simple stuff. Weather, clothes, movies, and even school. It was nice, and I soon learned Alice was really easy to be around. She didn't make me feel like the little sick girl that most did, she just talked to me. I loved her for it. You have no idea how wonderful it is to talk to someone and they talk back.

"All done, take E' look."

As he spun my hair my heart rate accelerated. "Wait!" The man stopped spinning my chair, and looked at Alice. "She can not see it yet. She has to get dressed first Pierre."

"Ay lub. Okay." He helped me from the chair, and I turned to scowl at Alice, but she simply smiled.

"Sorry Bella." She took a bandanna and tied it around my eyes. I knew that I was red faced… This was too much. She helped me to the front, and I heard a small in take of Breath.

"Alice," Edwards once angelic voice growled. I stopped mid step. "Her hair…"

"It looks awesome! You need to see it with clothes."

"You changed the color," he argued. I just stood there. Not able to see.

"Nope. She just has color streaks."

"Alice…" I felt a cold, firm grip on my arm as Edward, or I hoped it was Edward pulled me to him. "Come one Bella." He led me out the door, and held me close so I wouldn't fall.

"This way Eddy." I knew that voice to be Alice's but the growl from Edward chest sounded out of character, again.

"Sorry Bella…" I am guessing he felt me tense as we walked. "She knows I hate that nick name."

I smiled, and gripped his hand. "Sorry Eddy."

He chuckled. "It's not so bad when you say it," he whispered into my ear.

I felt the floor change from tile to carpet. A sure fire sign we were in the next store. Icy fingers on my face calmed me. I felt the blindfold pealed away, and I blinked to adjust. We were in a store I would never have ever stepped foot it. It was preppy, and punkish. I wasn't punk…Wouldn't that make me a poser on the social latter. Wait! Forks high school has no social ladder.

"Ready? I am so excited." Alice was always excited from the information I had gathered.

A teen, about eighteen, walked over. He was nice looking. Not even in the same galaxy as Edward, but nice enough. He was a little more tan than I was, still pale. With a short hair cut that had red, and green in it. All messy, yet not messy at the same time. I was a little weirded out by the size 14 gage in his ear. They look so…not normal.

"Alice. Nice to see you."

"Hey Ben. Bella---Ben. Ben--Bella. We are doing a makeover. Got anything for us?"

Oh God, did he ever! I tried on over thirty things, and finally picked out a pair of jeans, that fit, and a simple shirt with skulls all over it. But the eye sockets of the skulls were hearts. I thought it was a funny thing, as well as Ben. Edward was no where to be seen since I came into this place. So he had no apparent opinion.

Alice tried to get me to wear a studded dog collar, but I drew the line there. No chains, spikes, or anything that could be considered dangerous. So she made up for it, by buying everything I tried on that fit, and stuff I didn't even try on…

Once we walked out Alice took me to the bathroom with my blindfold back on. She said she needed to do my make up. I sighed. I hated makeup.

I was turned away from the mirror as she put it on. I thought it would take hours for her to do, I was wrong. It only lasted about five minutes.

"Where is Edward…?"

"He is around. Shopping isn't his thing."

"Oh." I tried to hide my disappointment that he wasn't here.

"Don't worry, because you look amazing." She slide my blind fold off, and turned me around.

I blinked at my reflection. My hair was so… Whoa. (**A/N: Link on profile.**) My makeup was so simple, but nice. I actually loved it. "Alice I--"

"Love it," she guessed.

"Yes…." I was so happy in that moment that I had made my list. I was glad I got a chance to be a new Bella, style wise, for a day…. I was really happy.

**A/N: I know! I usually hate the 'Alice Shopping Endeavor' but I am trying to keep up with Bella's list. Read and review…Please? Also just so you know… The next chapter is very important. Bella will ask all of her questions, as well as meet Jacob. So keep an eye out. I wanted to put them in this chapter, but I figured that a 12 page chapter was plenty. Okay… Read, and review. **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I know… Last chapter was kind of blah. I am so sorry, but I was still feeling iffy about updating. Now I am over it, but I am a little sad to say that May 6, 2007 would have been Jesse's sweet sixteen. I am really sad, so this chapter is devoted to her. I will always love you Jesse. ♥ --- Bella has Endometrial Cancer, which is Cancer of the uterus. It was going to come into play later, but I guess I will need to change gears. **

**ALSO------------**

**A/N: Okay so. I have a new summery of this story (on my profile)…I've decided to make this a double plot story, but don't worry. I have it all planned out, amazing huh? This is a prelude to what will happen later in the story (It is in 3rd person, for now. It will be edited some for the actual chapter when it comes out). Basically not only is this story about Edward thinking of changing Bella, but also about a villain who has eyes out for Bella. Please, if you have any ides, PM me. It will make more sense later. **

_Bella lay asleep, in all of her human perfection on the bed. Her hair, tied back into a messy bun, to keep it off her neck so she can sleep more comfortably, wearing a large baggy shirt, and a pair of panties. Edward is gone, supposedly hunting, and so she felt more comfortable sleeping this way. Her deep, rhythmic breathing the only movement in the room. Her eyes closed softly, so her dark lashed rest on her cheek, that even in sleep were rosy. Her lips full, and red. She is the perfect sleeper. _

"_I love you too," she mumbles some into her pillow, clutching her cover to be comforted. _

_A vampire, gorgeous, and villainous had a surprise. They were here for Bella, and they were not leaving until she was in their care._

_Easily the vampire scaled her tree, and climbed into her window, just in time to hear those beautiful words be uttered from her lips._

_Noiselessly they walked across Bella's room, and climbed onto her bed to rest on her covers. Wrapping their arms around her, they brought her to their chest, a bit roughly. _

"_Humm." Her eyes fluttered open, and her lips formed a small sleepy smile. "Edward?"_

"_No." The voice was cold, and no where near as beautiful as the voice of Edward._

_She instantly panicked, and tried to get away, but the grip from the intruder grew tighter. Her heart rate raised in fright, and she tried to scream, but an abnormally cold hand was on her mouth before a muffled noise left her lips. _

"_Listen closely Bella. You are coming with me, and there is nothing you, or your Edward can do about it. Now."_

**--------------♥♥♥♥♥----------**

"_Love it," she guessed._

"_Yes…." I was so happy in that moment that I had made my list. I was glad I got a chance to be a new Bella, style wise, for a day…. I was really happy._

"I am so happy. I love shopping, maybe we can.---"

I cut her off with a laugh. "No thanks Alice."

"Oh, okay. We better go. Edward is waiting."

"Waiting?"

"Yep. He is…." she laid a hand on my back, and slowly pushed me out the door. "right here."

There he was. Looking simply amazing. With his perfect messy hair, and a smile twitched on his lips. Wearing a simple pair of tan slacks, and an ivory sweater that clung to his body perfectly. In his hands a bouquet of flowers.

"Bella," he breathed as he advanced to me, "you look amazing." It was then I saw that the flowers in his hands were my flowers. The beautiful flowers that I saw growing in the forest on our walk. "I saw you eyeing these."

He handed them to me, and I felt my cheeks grow hot. I tucked a small strand of my new hair behind my ear, and nodded. "Thank you."

"Well." We both looked over to see Alice with a large smile. "Rosalie is here. I will see you soon Edward, and I hope to see you too Bella." She bounced over, and kissed my cheek, before gliding out of the hall.

"Why did she go?"

"I've made us reservations. For two."

"Oh… Edward---" He cut me off, sensing that I was going to inform him that this was too much.

"Trust me on this." How could I not trust him?

He smiled, once he saw he'd won, and took my warm hand into his cold one. I loved the feeling of his cold skin on my warm one. Absentmindedly my thumb brushed against his hand, feeling the smoothness of it.

I would never forget this. As I was mentally storing this memory, I heard Edward make a noise deep in his chest. It sounded like a growl mixed with a chuckle.

"What?"

"Bella… I--." pausing, he looked at me as we walked from the mall. "I will tell you over dinner."

"Sure…" I didn't want to disagree with him, the day was going perfect so far.

We hit outside, and I was stunned. I knew it was cold, but…I didn't see snow in the forecast. Sure enough now it was snowing. I huddled to Edward's arm for warmth, but it didn't do much good. He was freezing. "Sorry Bella… We are almost there…" He sped up some to get where ever _there_ was faster. Still holding me so I wouldn't trip.

Finally we reached a small restaurant. It was tucked between some small downtown streets. The part of the neighborhood you only showed up in if you were dressed in coat with tails. I instantly felt out of place. My face warmed, and I tried to cling to Edward. I believed he knew I felt out of place because he smiled some, and reassured me that I looked 'amazing'.

We walked into the restaurant, and I shuddered from the instant warmth that took over my bones. I loved it. Edward walked a little ahead to get our table. A waiter, good looking and Italian, led us to a small secluded room in the back.

"Iz there anyfing I can get yew?" (**A/N: I know that it is spelled wrong. )**

"Water please." I suddenly felt the urge for a health dose of water.

"Water as well."

The man's dark eyes lingered on me as he laid down our menus, scanning my face to my breasts. I felt so violated that I turned away and looked out the slowly frosting window.

"Thanks." Edward's voice sounded again, only snappier.

"Oh, ov course," he replied sweetly, with a nice accent. He quickly left the room, his nice leather shoes leaving a harmonious _taptaptap _in my mind.

"Men," he muttered angrily. I turned to look at him, and his anger washed away with happiness.

"Look," I whispered unknowingly. "It's pretty." I turned to face the window again, and wiped away some fog so I could see outside.

It looked like a Christmas movie. Couples were walking by, holding hands. Each holding little bags filled with their shopping efforts of the day. Matching gloves, scarf's, and coats to adorn their bodies. A light snow falling over them. It was so nice. Not even the red noses, and sure to be colds they would all get the next day mattered. Not in that moment.

"Yes, beautiful." He didn't say that comment, he breathed it. His cool, sweet breathe scanned out, close to my ear. I turned to face him to see that his face was a mere centimeters from mine.

"Mumm humm"

He laughed some at my reaction, and backed away. Leaning into his chair, he extended his hand at my untouched menu I took the hint, and opened it up. I was pretending to be engrossed in the surprisingly large number of ways a person can make pasta, when a sound reached my ears. The waiter clearing his throat to get our attention.

I looked up, and was a little surprised to see a women there. She looked almost exactly like Rosalie, only not as beautiful. Her eyes were blue, and her skin was tanned. Fake I presume. She was staring at Edward who was staring at me.

"Yes," I questioned. My voice small.

"Are you ready?"

I looked at Edward to see if he was, and he looked down at my menu. I smiled, and ordered some pasta. When the waitress asked his what he wanted he kindly said.

"I would like you to leave."

Her face went red, and angry, and my jaw dropped. He said something so mean, yet he said it so kindly. The moment she was out of the room, I tossed my napkin at him.

"What?"

"That was rude."

"You didn't see what she was thinking."

"So! Neither did you…Did you?"

"Yes…"

I felt so scared, I instantly tried to clear my mind. He could hear what I was thinking…

"So you can hear what people are thinking, like everyone…?"

"Pretty much."

"What is…'pretty much'?"

"I can not hear, and see your thoughts."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure…." His face looked perplexed, and I couldn't help but smile. I was safe.

"What does mind reading have to do with vampirism?"

"Long story, but some of us, have gifts…"

"Gifts?" I wanted some elaboration.

"Yes. Such as…" He thought for a moment, and sighed some. "Alice can see into the future, only snippets, Jasper is empathic, and others can teleport along with various other unknowns. It's all different."

"Alice can see into the future?"

"Only snippets."

"Oh." I was quiet for a moment, thinking about all of this. Some of them have gifts, how unfair. They were already gorgeous, on top of everything else they had gifts.

"Here yew goes," the Italian man was back, with my food, and our water. I thanked him, and looked at Edward. Waiting for the man to leave. It took a growl from Edward to put some pep in his step.

"Looks….good." I noted verbally as I took a small bite. As I chewed a new thought came to mind. "Want some," I asked softly, extending my fork to him.

"No…"

"Not into pasta," I guessed.

"Not really." His looked back out the window. I quieted, and sipped my water, not wanting to anger him. "Are you going to ask?"

"I don't want you to get mad…"

"I will not get angry with you Bella, that may be impossible."

I smiled, despite myself, and nodded. "Okay…what are your dietary needs?"

He told me that they drank blood, human blood. Well not the Cullen's or the Hales, but other vampires. That made my mind spin even more. Not only did I find out he drank animal blood, but also I discovered that his whole family was vampiric, and that there were more vampires were also in the world, and that humans were the main food source. His eyes darkened when he said that. He was extremely protective, and that made me swell with an amazingly good feeling. As well as a shy feeling causing me to blush deeply.

"Don't worry Bella, I will not let anything happen to you." I know he said that to make me feel better, but it darkened my mood. It made me remember that I was dieing, and he couldn't save me from that. Or could he…? "Bella?" I looked up, and tried to smile, but it was hard so I nibbled on my food. It was really good.

"How old are you?" I heard a soft sigh from him, so I averted my eyes to his.

"I'm afraid." He folded his hands, and looks at me with soft eyes that held fear within them. "I'm frightened that if I tell you that you will leave running."

"I wouldn't do that." I honestly wouldn't. I reached out, and laid my warm hand on his cold one to try and comfort him.

"I am 17..."

"How long have you been 17?"

"Since 1918..."

"Oh." I smiled, and squeezed his hands. "So I guess that answers the immortality question."

"I guess so," his agreed. His mood lightening some.

The dinner went on like that. His mood much better, as well as mine. We talked about music, and surprisingly we had similar taste in music, we also discussed school, and with school came people. I learned about his family. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and my doctor, Carlisle. I learned about their gifts, and personalities. Even some of Edwards past. By the time the night was over I felt so much closer to him. As if we really were a couple.

"Edward, can I ask you something?" I was a little shy, so I shifted in my seat, and sipped at my water.

"Of course, isn't that what tonight was about?"

"Yes…." I paused, and fought the inner battle about how I would word it."

"Just tell me Bella, please. You are making me anxious."

"What are we. I mean, are we just good friends? Are we a couple?" My cheeks burned a fiery red color. "I've never done this before…." I looked away out the window, and after a minute of silence I wiped a tear of embarrassment away. "I'm sorry. I know we are just friends. I don't know what I was thinking…" I felt a cold, firm hand wrap around my arm, and softly pull me from the booth.

"I love you. I am sure that makes us a couple." His voice was soft, and guarded. "But I should warn you. I am not a good person for you, if you were wise, and smart you would stay away from me."

"I don't want to…"

"I don't want you to….either." I looked up at him, and smiled. I wasn't sure how it happened but my arms wrapped around him in a hug as strong as I could muster.

"I love you too, Edward."

His own arms hugged me back, in a soft, sweet romantic gesture. My chest swelled with pride that I had a boyfriend that cared so much, and had such a strong presence that I was instantly safe when he was around.

Someone cleared their throats from the back of the room, causing us to separate. Our waiter. I tried not to hide my disappointment at being interrupted, but it was impossible.

Edward placed some money on the table, and pulled me close. "Thank you." He addressed the man politely. He pulled me from the room, and back into the cold outside.

I knew that I shouldn't do what I wanted to do, but I wanted so badly to do this. I stopped in the middle of the street, making Edward stop. His eyes held a guarded confusion. He was probably thinking that his sick girl friend was about to have an episode. He was so wrong.

I smiled to show him that I was fine, and thinking clearly. I could see the tension drift away from him as he returned my smile. I loved that he said nothing, this was meant to be a quiet moment.

Here we stood, hand in icy hand, as the snow, that had took to falling in clusters of flakes rather than individuals, drifted around us. In that moment I felt as if the world, like the snow on this cold December night, revolved around us. He, and his human partner. Me, and my Greek god.

I turned to face him, as he did to me. Time stood still as he slowly, oh so slowly, leaned forward to my face. I knew what this was. I had never really experienced it, but I knew what it was. It was magic, it was love. I wanted this from him.

My human heart beat so loud that the melodic _thumpthumpthump_ reverberated off, filling my ears. I knew he could hear it, and I am sure he wanted to smile, or say something, but this moment took no smiles, took no voice.

His icy, marble lips, gracefully landed on my human lips, that had also gone cold. I could feel everything, as if my senses went into hyper drive. His arms softly looped around my waist as he pulled me closer, making me that much more excited. My mind grew foggy, and it took a lot of work not to zone out. I went slightly limp into his embrace, and he held me securely. It was a soft, and heavily guarded embrace. It was bliss.

Then, too soon, it was over. He pulled away, only a fraction of an inch, and whispered into my ear, with that sickly sweet, velvet, cool, alluring voice. "I love you Isabella Swan."

I smiled, and snuggled into him. Not only seeking affection, but warmth. It was extremely cold out here. Edward, held me close, and pulled me into a warm boutique. The kind that littered all of the upper class area of downtown.

"Why are we in here?" I tried not to sound too curious.

His lips twitched into a heavenly half smile, as he walked to the register where a women sat, reading a book.

"Oh hello," she addressed us sweetly. Not even ogling Edward, I was begging to like this girl. She walked around the counter, and hugged Edward. "It's been too long Ed."

What was going on?

"Yes, I am terribly sorry about that Jack. Things have been a little busy." She nodded, and turned to face me. It was then I got a good look at her.

She stood about my height, only a few inches taller. Her skin was as white as Edwards, and held a sweet glow. Her hair was thick, and extremely curly. The color matched that of liquorish. Her eyes even held that same honey color of Edward's family, only it was a little darker. It could have just been the light.

"Jack, this is Bella."

Her face lit up, as she smiled brightly. "Oh my! The famous Bella. Alice has told me so much about you."

I stood there, blushing, and quiet. Feeling completely ostracized by the situation. Who was this women, and why was her name Jack? Isn't that a masculine name?

Edward chuckled some at my confused face, and pulled me close.

"Sorry Bella. This is Jack. A family friend. I've known her for about…for a long time. She owns this store, and a few more all over the world." I nodded. So this women was a family friend of the Cullen's. I am glad that was sorted out, but that still didn't tell me why were here.

"Well Bella, you seem like a quiet one." She leaned over, and hugged me softly. She smelled heavenly. A mix of Alice, and sweet perfume.

"Sorry. I am just surprised…."

"Oh right," Edward cut in, "We are here because she needs a coat."

"Edward…" I chastised. He knew I hated him spending so much money on me. I already have a good coat. Just not with me.

"Don't worry Bella, I got just the thing." She disappeared behind the beaded curtain. I heard a soft curse, and a box fall over. Then she came back into the room holding a simple reddish brown leather coat. **(A/N: Link on profile. I love this coat so much I bought it. )** "This will match that smashing outfit." As she said those words a British slang oozed from her speech. "Sorry love. I am trying to work on that… I want to fit in more around her." And just like that her American accent reappeared.

"Thanks," Edward came in as he took the coat, and offered a credit card. Jack looked appalled.

"I am insulted you think you need to pay me. Now you two better get going it's nearing midnight."

"Thanks again, Jack." They exchanged a hug, and he helped me into the jacket.

The walk to the car was uneventful, as was the car ride home. We talked a little, and I learned a few more things about the Cullen family, and he learned about me, and my family. Simple things, yet it was things like this that I craved to know.

"So, what is Jack's gift?" I asked as we entered Forks.

"She can manipulate people. Make them see what see wants them to see, fell what she wants them to feel, and so on. Quite powerful, and the Vulturi would love to have her."

"The who?"

"That is another story for another night," he declined to answer politely.

"Okay." I smiled at him, and looked out the window. Charlie stood on the porch, looking mad. "Opps."

"I can speak with him."

"No, I can take it." I wanted to kiss him again, but Charlie…

"Tomorrow," he answered my thoughts. I blushed, but nodded as I exited the car. I watched as the car disappeared into the darkness.

"Bella." His tone was steady, and warning.

"Sorry Dad we---"

"What happened to your hair?!"

"Oh," I shifted some on my feet, feeling odd. "I got a make better."

He grabbed my arm, and pulled me inside.

"A what?"

"Make better. I got a new hair style, and everything. I had a ton of fun dad. Really----"

"I don't care! You were gone for ages. Not even a note! I told you to stay home, didn't I?"

"Yes you did, but----"

"Damn it Bella!" He sighed, agitated, and stormed around. I flinched when I heard a cabinet slam. "Why do you have to this?" He asked as he came back into the living room. "I already have to out up with you being sick, and the worry that I will come home to find you dead, but now this! A boy? Are you trying to kill me Isabella?"

I had tears in my eyes. That was a punch in the gut, and a knife in the back. Why did he have to do this to me?

"Because dad," I found myself screaming, and crying. "I am dieing! I only have a little time left in my life, and I want to enjoy all of it. I don't want to sit around, and wait for it to come. I want to meet it head on, and do as much stuff as I can before I'm dead!"

Tears were streaming down my red, hot face. I was mad, hurt, sad, and everything else imaginable.

"Bella," his voice was soft, and hurt.

"Forget it Charlie," I snapped, as I grabbed my keys, and rushed out of the door. I slammed it, and rushed to my truck. I heard him calling after me. I even heard him follow, but I was in my truck, and going down the road as fast as it would go. My vision blurred, with my salty tears invading.

"Bella."

I screamed, and nearly crashed, if it hadn't been for two cold hands coming out of the dark. One gripped my waist, and the other held the steering wheel. I was pulled out of the drivers seat, as Edward took control of the wheel. He held me close, as I cried. I didn't even question him being there.

"Beach…"

"What," he asked softly.

"Go to the beach, please." I still had tears when I looked into his eyes, but I could see the silent question hidden within them. "It's on my list…" He hugged me to him more, as he drove.

Maybe going to the beach now wasn't "just because", but I didn't care. I was going to bend, and mold the list all I wanted. It was mine after all.

Finally the car stopped, and I looked out. We were at a shore somewhere. The moonlight glistened off the salty waves, creating an image just short of a faerie tale.

"Thanks…." I had finally stopped crying.

"It's okay. I am just sorry that I put you into that situation."

"You didn't," I cut in quickly. "You did nothing wrong."

"I took you out of the city all day, when he clearly didn't want you to leave."

"I wanted you to, making this my fault." He opened his mouth to argue, but I just shook my head, and hugged him looking out at the water.

"I'm not even going to ask how you got back so fast."

"I am extremely fast," he answered with a chuckle.

We sat there. In a silent bliss. Him kissing my head softly, and rubbing my arms.

"What else is on that list?"

"Humm?"

"If you don't mind my asking, that is. What is on your list?"

"A few things…" I was avoiding the subject, he knew it.

"You don't have to tell me."

We fell into a silence that was unnerving. Finally I told him.

"There is… Write a letter to Renee, and to Charlie. Telling them how much I loved them. So they could read it when I am gone, read 'The Completed works of Jane Austen, do something dangerous, visit college…just to see it, go to Europe, visit the pyramids, and the most amazing one, that is coming true as we sit here….Witness true love.

"I've already done a few things on the list, such as… drive to the beach…just because," I smiled up at him as I said that. "Go explore a new area, befriend someone I may not like, go swimming in a lake, alone, get a new style, and ask, "what if'"

I looked back out at the water.

"Who did you befriend?"

"You?"

He chuckled some, and kissed my lips softly. "I am happy that you did befriend me. I would be miserable with out you."

"Me too," I breathed into his chest.

**(A/N: I know! Jacob isn't in this chapter, and with Jack in this story, he may not come into it at all. I am so sorry if I disappointed you. I just reinvented my whole plot with the double story plot. So give it a chance. I am sure it will get better. If you want me to stop, tell me.)If Anything Does Not Make Sense, Ask Me:D :D :D  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry!! I am so sorry about the confusion. I uploaded a new chapter, and because I deleted the "I'm Sorry" Chapter it made my story have 9 chapters instead of 10. So if you couldn't review that is why. I will NEVER delete a chapter again. I am so sorry, please forgive me. So go read Chapter 9 if you didn't. :D Also to some questions….**

**---Jesse was my best friend slash beta that passed away. **

**----I am sorry if Charlie seemed ooc. It is explained in this chapter what was going on in his head. So bear with me. If you know me, and my works at all you know I work hard to avoid ooc, unless that is the entire plot. **

**----What disease Bella has was answered in the last chapter's AN. Read it to see what she has. Jesse did not have this type of cancer, just so you know. **

**----The thing at the beginning of the last chapter was a little prelude to what will happen in the future. Just so you all know. No! It was not a vision by Alice or anything like that. It is just like the preface like at the beginning at New Moon. Just some teaser information, about the double plot. **

**Is that it? I am so sorry again for the confusion, and the agitation. PM me if you have any more questions or ideas. :D **

I continued to drift in and out of sleep. One second I am looking out at the snow covered shore, and the crashing waves. The next second I was opening my eyes after being asleep. It was like I was waiting for something so my mind wouldn't relax for me to sleep. I left my coat at home, and so I was a little cold, maybe that was why I wasn't sleeping.

"Bella." He sounded worried.

"Yes," I responded, my voice sounding horse.

"Are you okay?" He placed his cold hand on my forehead, and I moved away. His hands were icy, even more so than usual, and I wanted warm, not cold. "Bella." He was getting anxious.

"I'm okay." I tried to make it sound convincing, because it was a total lie. I felt really sick.

He shifted some, and looked me in the eyes, but I closed my eyes against the burning look radiating from him.

"Bella… You look pale, and your sweating."

"I'm freezing." I opened my eyes for him, just so I could see his face crease with worry. I closed them again, and tried to snuggle into him. Not that it did any good. He was chilly.

I felt him shift me into the passenger seat, and buckle the belt, then something warm covered me. I rolled my head to the side to look at him, I was too tired to lift it up.

"Edward… No."

"Something's wrong, you need to go to the hospital."

I panicked, and started pushing the cover off of me. I had my seat belt unfastened, and the door opened, but he was already standing outside my door pushing me back into the truck, and buckling me back in.

"No!" I had tears building, and I was scared. To be honest I don't know why I am scared. I've been in and out of hospitals for a long time.

"Sorry, Bella. Just calm down." His voice was sweet, and calming.

I gave up, mostly because I was tired, and really cold. I closed my eyes, and rested into the seat.

Edward went around, and got in the drivers side seat, before taking off. My truck groaned in protest. I heard him talk to me, but it was random stuff to keep me calm, and awake. I knew he was trying t hide it, but he was scared. I could hear the underlying tone in his voice.

"Edward, I'm fine. Please don't worry…"

"You've got a fever, your pale, your shaking…..something isn't right."

I nodded some, and closed my eyes.

"Just a cold…You don't need to worry."

"How did you get a cold that fast?"

I heard curses of speed, coming for Edward about my truck. I would say something about that later. This is my truck! Then I heard the truck turn off, and I saw some lights. I looked up to see the hospital.

I reached over to open the door, but Edward was already there. He lifted me from the truck, with my protests.

"Edward. I'm okay. Let me walk…"

He completely ignored me, as he carried me into the hospital. He didn't even sign me in or anything. He went straight to the elevator, and up. I honestly didn't know where he was taking me. I did, however, have a good guess.

"Edward."

"Bella, hold on please." I sighed some, and leaned into him some. Knowing I was weightless in his arm with his strength, so I wasn't too worried about that.

He walked into an office. An office I had been in previously. Carlisle's. He sat me into a chair, and covered me with a coat that sat on the coat rack.

"I'll be right back." Leaning down, he brushed his cool lips onto my hot forehead. I only nodded.

The moment he was out of the room I closed my eyes, and curled up more into the coat. I didn't even know that I had fallen asleep.

♥♥♥

_I looked around to see several people crying. Renee, Charlie, Phil, Alice, Edward, and even a few people I only knew by face. _

_All of their faces with flushed, and wet tears. Why was everyone crying, and where were we? _

_All of us were sitting outside. The ground was covered in about three inches of snow. Clearly this time of year. There was even a light snow still falling from the sky. All around were little stones sticking up from the ground. A graveyard. _

_I walked up to Alice, and tugged her arm. _

"_What's going on?"_

_She didn't even acknowledge I was there. I did the same thing to everyone, and the same response. It was as if I was not even there. _

_I was getting a little scared so I started making my way through the small crowd to see what was so fascinating that people were crowding it. I pushed past Alice, Esme, and the rest of Edward's family. I went by Angela, and Mike. People, whose names were almost impossible to remember. Then I reached Renee, Phil, and Charlie. _

_Once I was past everyone I saw what was the big deal. A coffin._

_Polished wood, with a bouquet of my favorite flowers resting on it. Then I looked up, and saw whose grave this was._

_Isabella Marie Swan_

_1990-2007_

_She was a loving daughter, and _

_She will never be forgotten. _

I sat up quickly, with a small whimper. My breath coming in fast, and scared. What was more scary was my dream wasn't far fetched. It was possible. I could die in a few days, and have a snow covered funeral, filled with people I don't even know.

"Am I okay?" I asked no one in particular. Just to reassure myself that I was.

"Your fine, Bella." Carlisle.

He looked up, his face calm, and collected. He did not look the least bit surprised that I had just sat up in a state of panic, or if he was he didn't show it.

"You've fallen ill Bella," he answered softly. "A cold from being in the cold." He smiled coolly at his play on words. I would have smiled too, had the circumstances been better.

"Can I go home?" I perched on the pillows in bed some, and looked around the room. I was alone in the white abyss. No other patients, and no color other than the polyester green chair in the corner, and the blue flowers on my backless hospital gown.

"I'm sorry Bella, but no. We need to keep you for awhile. Your immune system is a little weak to help fight this, so we are helping you out with some medication."

I had tears in my eyes. I was scared. The last time I got a cold I nearly died. I didn't leave the hospital for three weeks. The doctors told me that it was because I was on treatment that weakened my immune system. I am on that treatment anymore, so shouldn't I be okay? My heart rate sped up, and I tried to wipe my tears away.

"Bella, Bella." His voice was calm, and close to me. "Calm down. This is just to help you, and be safe." He sat on my bed, and laid a soft hand on my shoulder.

I nodded some, and laid back into bed. Propping my arm with a nice big iv in it on a pillow. Then I looked away. I do not like needles.

"I want to go home." I was surprised at the sound of my voice. It was so hoarse, and weak sounding. Was that really me?

"You can go home in a few days, we want to keep you here for some observations. Just a few precautions."

He stood, and walked to the monitor that was going to be keeping me up at night. Writing down a few numbers quietly, and looking around the machines he took notes. Once he was done with that he smiled over at me.

"Well, it seems all is well here Bella. If you need anything else, press this button." He indicated to a red nurses button on my remote connected to my bed. I just nodded, and looked at the window, whose blinds were pulled.

"Can you open the blinds, please?" I asked, timidly.

"Sure. The day is quite nice, maybe it will lighten your mood."

He walked, no! He glided across the room, and swiftly opened the curtains, and what was outside was no less than what he said. It was amazing. It was pretty, and snow falling. With the sun set I couldn't see much, but my light from my room gave me some view of the winter wonderland outside.

"Thank you." I sat up some, and smiled at the snow.

"No problem." He lingered by my bed for a moment, until I turned to look at him. I thought he was looking at me, but his gaze was transfixed out the window. His brows furrowed in confusion, or anger I couldn't tell.

"Dr. Cullen….?" It seems my voice snapped him out of it, because he looked down and smiled at me.

"Charlie said he will be in to see you tomorrow." I nodded. It seemed like he wanted to say more. "But there is someone here who would like to see you now."

"Okay….?"

"May he come in?"

"Yes," I said excitedly. He seemed to like that I was happy, at least for the moment, so he walked from the room with a quick goodbye.

I shifted into the uncomfortable bed, and tried to make if comfortable. I was unsuccessful. I tried to sit still, and stay calm, but I hated hospitals. They are always so yucky.

I was about to scream when I heard two hushed voices outside my door. Two nurses' I suspected.

"Yes… It is very strange. All girls, about 17, with brown hair, and brown eyes. No other connection."

"What's happening to them?"

"Their bodies are found completely drained of blood, and cold."

As her voice said that, my body went cold. Someone was attacking teen girls.

"I know, but that is why Ms. Swan has a room to herself. They think she may be the next victim by this psychopath."

My heart rate accelerated, and I hands started shaking. What was going on??

"I heard that the sheriff got a note?"

"Yes. A note warning Isabella. It was in her room… That is why he was so scared. He thought that she was already taken, and judging by the others, they are no survivors."

"Isn't this Isabella's room?"

"Oh! It is…"

I heard her say more but their voices grew dim, and my mind grew foggy. That was why Charlie was so upset when I was gone. He thought I was taken. Someone was out there… Another vampire, and they were killing everyone who looked like me. They even left me a warning… They were after me, and there was nothing I could do….

I laid my shaky hand on my eyes, and tried to steady my breathing. It was no use… until I remembered Edward, and my father. They wouldn't want me to know. I had to act like I didn't know. One less thing for them to worry about…

"Bella." I looked up to see Edward. His inhuman beauty magnified by his stunning smile.

"Hello Edward." He slid onto the bed next to me. Sitting them holding a small gift wrapped in plain white paper.

"So formal," he asked sweetly.

I smiled as I sat up in bed. He leaned into me, and kissed my forehead with his cool lips. That sweet breath fanning out over my face, making my mind swim.

I heard him chuckle, probable from having that effect on me. He softly laid me back into bed with his cold firm hands.

"I missed you."

"You've only been awake for about 20 minutes." Even though he said that I could see the love, and happiness behind his eyes. The golden eyes that still held pain deep within them.

"Still, 20 minutes without you…" I laid my hand on his, and squeezed it.

"Yes, well I was without you for a day and a half. I am in more pain, trust me."

We shared a few more comments about missing each other, and how much we loved each other. All the while my mind would drift off to the danger no one would tell me about.

"Here." I looked at the small package in his arms, and frowned. "What's that matter?"

"Why did you get me something?"

"Oh Bella," his eyes smoldering, his voice soft, and sweet. "Just open it."

I gingerly took the gift, and slid my finger under the wrapper pulling it off. Under the paper was a DVD. It was something from the history channel. All about Egypt, and the Pyramids.

Tears filled my eyes. He remembered my list, and was helping me finish it. If I couldn't see them up close he was going to let me learn all about them. Sure it wasn't the same, but I didn't care. I had a boyfriend that was too good for me. He was to beautiful, sweet, thoughtful, and amazing.

"Bella, Bella, what's the matter," he asked as I wiped my tears. "Are you hurting?"

"No, no… It's just I love you so much. You---You got me a movie on the pyramids."

He relaxed some, and leaned down kissing me again softly.

"I'm glad you like it."

Just then there was a knock at the door. Edward stood fluidly, and walked over to the door. When he opened it there stood Alice, and a big guy. Way bigger than Edward, with black curly hair. I believed his name to be Emmett.

"Hey Bella," Alice squealed as she ran over to me, leaving Emmett holding two big boxes.

"Hello Alice."

Emmett laid the boxes on my table at the end of my bed, and smiled at me.

"You must be Bella," he stated the obvious.

"Hi Emmett." He grinned, and walked over to me, hugging me in an extremely soft one armed hug.

Edward cleared his throat, and we all looked over at him.

"Oh Edward," Alice complained. "Can we stay?"

"No Alice," his voice was borderline mad, yet held this carefree tone.

"Okay." She kissed me softly on the cheek, and walked out of the room. Emmett, with a grin, followed.

"What is that," I asked, nodding at the boxes.

"A TV, and DVD player…" He said nonchalant, waving his hand at the boxes.

"Oh…"

He saw my bewildered face, and laughed some.

The next thirty minutes we talked about the weather, and his family. All as he set up the plasma TV, and DVD player. Never deviating the conversation to that night on the beach, or to danger of a killing vampire out to get me. He would clench his jaw when ever I talked about that night.

I think he blames himself for taking me out into the snow, without a coat, but he has to know that I am dieing anyway…

"All done," he exclaimed as he put some Styrofoam into the box, and set the trash by the door. He put the movie into the DVD layer, and grabbed the remote.

"Awesome. Thanks so much Edward. This is too Much, but---"

"Don't Bella," He warmed with a small frown. The mood was too amazing to destroy now, so I nodded. In return he smiled, and sat next to my bed in that ugly green polyester chair.

The thought occurred to me that he was doing all of this stuff slow for me. Getting the TV, and DVD player hooked up, turning off the lights, and sitting down. All slow.

"Ready to explore the realms of Ancient Egypt?"

"Oh yes, please."

We both smiled, as if there was an inside joke. He pressed play, and the movie started.

It was an amazing movie. I know that history channel movies are normally boring, and worthy of falling asleep during the duration of the 115 minutes, but not this movie. It was so exciting. I felt as if I could feel the heat of the sun on my pale skin, and the warm sand between my toes. I could feel the sweat drip down my nose while the cameras went into the pyramids.

It ended with a helicopter view of the pyramids, and a man saying "Egypt is truly an amazing country."

"That it is," I agreed sleepily as Edward turned on the lights.

"Did you like it?"

"Yes, I loved it. Thank you."

He nodded as he kissed my cheek.

"I am so happy, but Edward…" I trailed off, not wanting him to know that I knew about the danger that was out there.

"What," he asked, looking over me.

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

He shifted into the chair next to my bed, and ran his long, slender fingers through his hair.

"Bella, I want you to be safe."

"How can I be safe if I don't know why I am in danger?"

"How much do you know?"

"More than you think…."

"Jack is missing."

"That girl from the clothing boutique?" He nodded slowly, and looked up. "Edward… I'm so sorry…I---"

He shook his head to silence me.

"It's okay. She is strong, and can take care of herself. I am just worried. I know that she has an ability that would be a great contributor to anyone who wanted to use it."

"What does her absence have to do with me?"

"For some reason there was a note at her shop. The person wants you, and that is the only way they will give Jack back unharmed."

I drew in a sharp intake of breath, and instantly Edward was in front of me.

"Calm down. Carlisle has friends in high places. We are working on it. For now we are keeping you safe, and guarded by everyone in our family."

"And the note in my house?"

He seemed put off by the fact that I knew about that, but who can help it that this hospital is full of gossiping nurses?

"Don't worry."

He smiled some, and stepped back, just as the door opened. Carlisle smiled in the doorway. A nurse in step behind him.

"Hello Bella, Edward hasn't been working you up, has he?" He threw a quick smile at his son, who simply shrugged softly.

The nurse came and looked at all of my machines.

"Her blood oxygen level is a little low." She stated as Carlisle wrote down the number. She handed me a little tube to place in my nose for oxygen. I really hate those, they dry out my nostrils.

They exchanged a few more words and numbers about my condition. While I sat there, and Edward lounged in a chair.

"Okay Bella," Carlisle addressed me with a kind smile. "This may make you a little sleepy." He injected something into my IV. I winced, and looked away, only to see Edward smirk at me.

"Thanks…"

My eye lids were already growing heavy before Carlisle was out the door, with the nurse.

"Edward…" He quietly slid into my bed with me. Laying a cool arm around my waist. "I'm scared…"

"Shh," he soothed. "It's okay. I will protect you as best I can. Your safe."

He softly started humming something sweet, and quiet into my ear. It was a tune I've never heard before. It sounded so me, and yet…so Edward.

"What is that…," I slurred.

"Your lullaby."


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: So you want to kill me for not updating I deserve it. I have been so terrible, I really have. I shouldn't have done this to you all. ALL of you have been amazing, have been so supportive, and I thank you for that. From the bottom of my heart. I could tell you why I didn't update, but excuses are not necessary. Just know I am going to try a lot harder to update more often. Keep in mind the story is almost over---well in my head it is. _

_  
Thank you all so much, I hope you continue to read, review, and love my story--or hate it. I, again, apologize for the long lapse between updates. _

The ride from the hospital, was quiet at best. Charlie was still embarrassed about what he'd said, and so was I. Neither of us, being a little stubborn, wanted to admit we'd been wrong. He shouldn't have said what he said, and I should never refer to him with the "C" word. If he was willing to let it go, so was I.

I held my arm, bruised and sore from needles for a week, close to my body. Edward's ivory leather jacket keeping me warm, and happy. The thought of being in something that was his was fantastic. It was soft, and smelled of him so much that my head swam if I took a deep enough breath. A scent that could never be bottled, and bought. His scent.

"Bella." There was a pause, in which I looked at him, and blushed. A lengthy pause. "I'm sorry. There is a lot going on right now. I didn't mean what I said." I only nodded, and looked out the window. The snow was glistening, even with the sun that wasn't high in the sky. Today was a week before the holiday that would prove the doctors wrong. They said I wouldn't make it to Christmas.

"Bella," he addressed me again. Anxious that I had not responded to, what he felt was a heat felt apology.

"It's okay, Dad." I visibly saw him relax when I spoke. My voice quiet, and not my normal octave. It bothered me that he seemed to want to fill the quit space with talk, that wasn't like him. He was always like me in that way, no need to fill every little space with chatter.

I went back to looking out the window. I knew that I shouldn't have this constant feeling of anxiousness in my stomach, but I did. I wanted to know who, or what was after me, and for what reason. What did I, a human, have that a vampire needed. I was weak, and dying. No long shelf life. What use was I? I remember what Edward had said about Jack, and shuddered. What if she died because of me? I couldn't live with that. It was too much for me to think about. I didn't want to think that anyone's life, especially one that would seemingly never end, would be cut short because of me. I was already dieing after all.

"Dad what did the note say?" I didn't say what note, but there was no need. It was implied.

"How do you know about that?"

"Gossiping nurses," I replied. My voice as calm as I could make it while we were discussing my death note.

"Don't worry about it. I've got some people working on tracking down this person. It's more than likely some sick kid playing a joke." He pulled up to one of the few stop lights in Forks, and looked at me. "Do you have anyone that would hate you." He grimaced at the word hate. I wasn't here long enough for someone to hate me, was I?

"No…. No dad. At least I don't think so."

He seemed to be pleased with that answer, as the light tuned green, and he took off.

It couldn't be anyone. They wouldn't know Jack. It had to be another vampire…

I let my mind wander on the situation a little more thinking about all of this, and as I did my hands began to shake, and mind began to swim. It's the most gut wrenching, terrifying thing in the world when you have someone out there, someone a hundred times stronger, two-hundred times faster, and three-hundred times more deadly than yourself, and their prime target is you. Especially when you don't know who it is.

I laid my head against the headrest, and let out a sigh mixed with attempted calmness, and utter fear. Despite being in the hospital for a week straight, and doing nothing but sleeping I was exhausted. I shifted some in the seat, looking out my window, and getting comfortable. I wanted to sleep a little bit.

"Chief Swan," A crackly female voice came over his speaker.

"This is Swan." He stopped at a stop sign.

"We have a Nisan Quest, going 110 MPH down Sir Barton Way, heading north."

"Shit!"

Something caught my eye as I looked out the window. A green minivan, I recognized, speeding down the road. I watched as it picked up speed, remembering that there is a stop sign within one hundred feet, and that it should be slowing down, but it wasn't. It was going faster!

"Dad," I screamed, my voice hitting an note I never thought humanly possible.

The next things took place in a matter of seconds…

Charlie fought with the car to get it into gear, the minivan was not slowing down. I started to panic, my eyes locked on that of the incoming car. It was right next to us, when the cruiser finally took off. I heard an ear splintering _whoosh_ when the van went by. He pulled to a stop about thirty feet away.

"What the hell?! Bella," he turned to me, his face worried. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine dad…" I laid my left hand on my heart, feeling my heart rate slow some. "They were trying to kill us…"

"They may have been under the influence of something. I am sure they were not after us personally."

I nodded some, eager to believe it. Believing anything other than someone was out to get me was a wonderful thing. I closed my eyes, and relaxed as the car started. Charlie, being off duty, called and gave the description, but refused to go after the killer car. He was off duty, and had his daughter in the car after being in the hospital for a week. He wasn't doing anything put me in danger, and for that I was thankful.

He pulled into the driveway, with extreme caution, as if any sudden movements would frighten me farther. In a way I was thankful, it showed he cared, really cared. I was so grateful that I turned my back to him as I opened my door, scared that tears would show.

I stepped out of the car, and closed the door. A pain seared through my stomach, that brought me to my knees. It didn't matter I had gravel digging into my knees, because my stomach wouldn't stop hurting. I cried out in pain, and scooped myself into a ball.

I felt Charlie gripping my shoulder, and whispering softly. He was telling me it would pass, just hold on. I think had he not come over, and talked to me I would give up right now. How can I give up when I have people like Charlie who love me so much.

Faintly I heard a car door slam, and gravel combined with snow crunch as someone approached.

"Is she okay?" His icy hands touched my forehead, and things started to clear up. The pain began to ease, and I was able to open my eyes, and see Edward leaning over me, and Charlie leaning over him. He more than likely made the gravel crunch, because I know Edwards fluid movements are far more quite.

"I'm fine…" I made a move to stand up, but Edward beat me to it. He scooped me up into his arms, leavening a boggled Charlie outside in the snow as he walked inside.

"What happened," he whispered, too low for Charlie. I knew he wasn't talking about my collapse.

"I'll tell you later," I breathed. Almost to tired to even say that.

"Can you get her upstairs?"

"Yes sir, I can. Which room is hers," he asked, though he obviously knew which one.

"First one on the right." He nodded, his golden eyes never stopped watching me closely as he walked up the creaky staircase.

I was laid on my bed with a soft reserved touch of Edward. Effortlessly he pulled the covers over me, and pulled off my shoes.

"Sleep, I will be near." He kissed my forehead with his sweet, cold lips.

"No." I gripped his hand, and held him to me in a futile grip.

"I'll be back. I promise." He pulled away, and walked out of my room leaving me alone

I curled up under my covers, and shivered as the warmness took me over. Letting the weights of life fall off of me. The fear of an unknown killer, the fear of death, the fear of not spending enough time with my family, and Edward before… I just let it all go. Slowly I felt my body being to relax. Each muscle losing all tightness. Each ligament falling onto my bed in a sweet release. I closed my eyes, and welcomed a good sleep with wide open arms.

My dream was normal, normal for me anyhow. I was in school--Forks High. At lunch I was speaking with Angela, and she said something funny because I bust out into a fit of laughter, not something I normally do. I could see the quit look in her eyes, a pleased look.

We stood with our trays, and walked to the garbage cans. We were talking about Spanish. As we dropped off our trays we headed to class. The day seemed normal enough, just one thing was off. No Edward. No Alice. No Jasper. None of the Cullen's…

Suddenly my dream shifted. I was sitting in Edward's Volvo, our hands intertwined. A large smile on our faces, but it wasn't normal. My beauty was increased. My face was flawless, my eyes were that golden color I loved so much, and Edward seemed completely at ease. It didn't take long for me to realize I was a vampire too.

Again my dream shifted, but this time it was impossible to be true. Edward and I sat at a park on a bright sunny day. My smile wide, as was his. His beauty was still remarkable, even more so in the sunlight. The sun gave his skin a beautiful glow. I turned when I heard a small voice yell my name. Two children, beautiful children, were running around. Both had a remarkable resemblance to Edward and to me. It didn't take long for me to see they were our children. A handsome boy, and a beautiful girl.

My dream shifted, and this time I fought to stay at the park with Edward but it was a losing battle. When I looked around again I was on a porch. My lap covered by a thin wool blanket, by body in a wooden rocking chair. "Bella, sweetheart." I looked up to see Edward walking outside. His hair was now flecked with grey, his face had tell-tale sighs of aging.

I sat up quickly in bed, my head swimming. "Bella, are you okay?" His voice was flawless and hushed. It must be late. I looked over at him in the rocking chair in all of his perfection, and tears stung my vision. "Bella, what's wrong?" He stood and walked to sit next to me. By this time I had tears openly flowing down my face. He pulled me close. My body melded into the cold firmness of him. "Bella…"

I tried to clear my voice enough to speak but it was hard. Finally I found my voice. "Bad dream," I half admitted. He nodded, and held me close. In a way it was the truth, but it was partially a lie. I wasn't crying because the dream was scary but because my mind was playing with me. Showing me everything I wanted, but could never have. I would never be well again, I would never be one of the Cullen's, I'd never be married to Edward and have children, and we'd never grow old together. Dreams of my life that would never come true. It was a cruel joke that my mind had played, and it upset me.

_I KNOW._

_It's so shirt, but I didn't want to have it end in this chapter, like the initial plan. So I am drawing it out, but don't worry. I promise, scout honor it will be longer next time. _


End file.
